Sunday, December 30, 2012

Amanda M...Day 338 & 339

Weekend was nice and relaxing...just as the rest of this vacation has been :-) much needed!

Starting Tuesday I will be training for my first half marathon! March 23 is the big day...12 weeks of training are in my future. Kind of excited :-) It is one of my new years resolutions. After that, my other resolution is to do a Go Ruck. Maybe next fall...that will be a different training regiment-will need to work on running AND strength. The running will get my weight off and from there I will build my strength back up.

I am worried about having to run 4-5 times a week, with crossfit...but I feel that if I get my nutrition down right that it shouldn't be a problem. Also, definitely will have to take my rest days when needed. Usually I beat myself up all week and just make it to the weekend and take my rest then. I need to tell myself that it is okay to take a rest day on a Thursday or something lol

Anyway, we will see where this new year takes us! What is everyone else's resolutions for the new year?

Friday, December 28, 2012

Amanda M...Day 335, 336 & 337

Damn, its Friday already? This vacation is going way too fast

On the bright side, I think I am ready to go back to work next week and not be so stressed out....I hope. Having a few days to myself has been awesome and much much needed.

Been trying not to go too crazy with the eating. Haven't been snacking all day which is a good thing :-)

Ready to do this weight loss thing my way. I lost 50lbs with no problem before...I should be able to do it again--well maybe not another 50 but we'll see where my body takes me

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Amanda M...Day 330-334

Hi all...thought you lost me, I bet! But I am still here... wouldn't quit this far into the game

Holidays were great. I am in New Hampshire as we speak, relaxing and enjoying my week off from my stressful job. Been eating way too much....but, that's no shock.

Ready to jump right back on the wagon. It has been way too long of a hiatus and I need to get my fucking shit together and get this done once and for all!!

Short post...hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Cheers!!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Amanda M...Day 329

Yesterday was another normal day. Another crazy day at the office, followed by a relaxing night of shopping, wrapping gifts and making my dress for the partay. I'll post some pics...or you'll just see it on facebook now that we're all friends!

Brian (or should I still call you anonymous...)--congrats on member of the month!!! Cant think of anyone else who deserves it but you. Definitely an inspiration!! Tell me your do strict paleo right? Jay has me eating some carbs and I think it isn't helping me at all. If you dont see this, I'll probably harrass you on the 'ol FB.

I cannot wait to get out of CT for a few days. Nothing is more relaxing than lying around my parent's cabin in the woods and doing absolutely nothing. My mom always makes fun of me because I end up sleeping the entire time I'm there. I'm exhausted by 9 and am cat napping on the couch the whole day. I need it!!

Then when I get back, hopefully I'll be back to my old self. Fingers crossed

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Amanda M...Day 328

Another long day. Cannot wait to get out of CT and escape to NH for a few days. Being with my parents always makes me feel better.

Ate normal, didnt work out. I got home and retreated right to the couch and just relaxed. My friend came over later and we worked on our ugly christmas outfits for the party I'm throwing on Saturday. Kinda excited! I need a fun night with friends.

Only a month left here....

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Amanda M...Day 327

Another day on the treadmill. Honestly, having to fight for space in a gym in the last thing I need after these past few weeks I've had at work. Just need my alone time. It's how I work.

I'll see you soon Nitro...gonna try to snap out of this bullshit mood. Maybe once I've had some time off from this hell of a job, I'll be back to my old self.

Going to check out an MMA training center on my break next week. I really REALLY miss hitting things. Barbells are great for stress relief, but sometimes nothing is better than beating the crap out of a punching bag. Plus, I could use the extra maybe I'll do half and half. We'll see

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Amanda M...Day 326

Yesterday was normal. Stressful day. Normal food intake.

Didn't WOD. Just not in the mood to be surrounded by people this week. So I did 3 miles on the treadmill. It was really relaxing to be alone in my basement, watching a tv show that always brightens my spirit--Glee. The Whitney Houston episode...classic. All while getting a good sweat on.

Just dont know what's going on with me. I've never had this long of a hiatus from CFM before. For months I was going a solid 5 days a week. Now I'm finding any excuse in the book not to go. I'm lucky if I talk myself into going 3-4 times. I know it cliche, but maybe I should just give myself a break and re-start for the new year. I'm going to be out of town most of next week anyway. I dont know. Now a days, even when I do go, I barely push myself. I used to live for crossfit! Maybe I need something else on the side....was thinking of getting back into martial arts. Always loved beating the shit out of things. We'll see I guess!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Amanda M...Day 323, 324, 325

Friday I was just so....done. Work has been very stressful...we havent been shipping SHIT and it's really getting to me. You know what happens when we dont ship things? We dont get paid. When we dont get paid, I can't pay anyone. Then everyone calls me and yells at me like its my fault that payment hasnt been made. I hate it. So yeah...after work on Friday, all I wanted to do was curl up under the blanket and drown in my sorrows--which is exactly what I did. No workout; had no desire.

Saturday I spent baking things for my man to get him through his week of finals. We spent the night in so he could study so it was relaxing.

Sunday we had another lazy day. Went grocery shopping, the usual. Ended up having a salad...with cheese and ranch dressing :( neither are on my approved list but I was just so tired of being 100%. I've never made it two whole weeks without caving--I'm such an asshole. I paid for it though...**TMI ALERT** I was in the bathroom the rest of the day. My stomach was NOT happy.

Only 5 days of hell left until I have a week and a half off of work...cannot friggen wait. Get me out of here!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Amanda M...Day 322

Yesterday's WOD was a lot of fun.

5 rounds of:
20 sec Push Press @ 65#
20 sec rope slams
20 sec burpees
60 sec AD sprint
rest 4 minutes

It really kicked my ass and I loved every minute of it. I was able to kill each round, even after feeling like I was going to puke at round 4. Shoulder press got a lot heavier a lot sooner than I thought it would but I powered through. I think the added rice and oats definitely are helping energy wise because usually by Thursday I am complete smoked. There's no way I would have survived those AD sprints if I was still eating how I used to. However, when I was eating how I used to...I was dropping alot more poundage...*sigh* going to see this new diet through though. See how it goes after a month.

Been sleeping 7-8hrs a night and still feeling really tired during the work day. Can't wait for my week off for christmas...I need the break from this crazy place.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Howdy Yall...Thursday 12/13

Well  I don't have much to say, I think. Ha! Yeah right.

The job is going well. And I mean really well. I love it so far and I hope it stays that way. Unfortunately the real paycheck is still 2 weeks away. Blah, that's ok cause its going to bills and FOOD, YES FOOD, CLEAN FOOD. I can finally buy shit where I can evoke my inner iron chef and get nuts!! Then any left over money is for a drink or two, three or four and a movie.

Still working on my eating, Its not great but its not completely shitty. I had a couple of really bad binge days.  But it just happened. It was one of those "fuck it I have nothing else to eat, so I'll just eat whatever moments".
My eating is very sporadic. I know for a fact that I'm not planning well and the other reason is well, I don't have any friggin money so I can't get too fancy and I have to eat whats readily available and cheap. That pretty much falls into the rice, pasta, sweet potato, Chicken breast on sale only, chicken (ugh, lots of chicken) and black coffee category. Yeah, that sound about right. So either I'm not eating enough or I'm eating shit. I know what I have to do, I know I don't have to reinvent the wheel. I just have to get over this hump and I can get busy with it. Money is super tight, so the only thing I can do is fuel myself. No worries I'm not going hungry I just have to get creative until I finally have the opportunity to go grocery shopping the way it should be done. Like I said its not totally shitty.

I finally got my big butt up and got to a couple classes and an Oly session. I was very successful with both. I had a PR of 275# DeadLift. Which surprised me because I haven't DL'd in a very, very long time. I went twice, Monday and Tuesday and I did well. I can't complain. I thought I was going to drop dead or something during a wod but no, I held up and was just as strong or even stronger and able than the rest of the chics in class. Remember I haven't really woded consistently in at least a couple months. I was just doing straight up Oly once or twice a week. Then I fell off the planet and havent done a thing in the past 3 or 4 weeks. Man! That was crazy. Again money was the main reason but I just friggin gave up. NEVER AGAIN!!!

It felt good to Wod but I gotta tell ya. When I went to my Oly session on Wednesday morning I felt...excited.When I blasted that bar over head it was like I got a surge of power run through my body. It was crazy. It felt awesome!! I love the bar!! I just kept going. My quads where on fire, I was on a groove. Then I crashed. I literally could not muster any strength to lift anymore. Didn't eat enough before hand and I literally had no fuel. Lesson learned. As I explained in Amanda's post. Its one thing to wod quick and dirty for 45minutes on an empty stomach. But its a whole other thing when your lifting and moving for 3 hours. You better have fueled up before hand and some stuff to re energize your ass during your session.

I will close with this. I noticed something after Oly on Wednesday as I was driving home. When I'm in CF I feel less than physically. I'm not cut or have a gorgeous body and skinny like the other girls. But when I'm doing Oly lifting It really doesn't matter to me at all. I don't even think about it or even care. I feel so free. Its just me, the girls and mostly guys just getting fucking heavy and dirty with it. I fall on my ass I don't know how many times. I'm jiggling, I'm doing my crazy lifting faces, my belly probably shows once or twice and I don't care there. I couldn't let loose at CF that way. I don't know...just a thought.

Laters Babe!!

Amanda M...Day 321

You guys always show up exactly when I need the support! Thank you thank you!

Done with the fucking scale. It hasn't moved since Tuesday. Once a month, that's it! I always feel better when my clothes are falling off anyway (which they are) so I am going to judge it based on that for the next few weeks.

Yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The workout was okay...not my favorite moves but it was a great workout. Whenever you walk into the gym and see the previous class all laid out on the floor, you know it's going to be worth it.

Jay emailed me to check up on me...from Arizon apparently. It's always great to know he will take his time out of doing god-knows-what to check up on his people. You won't find that anywhere else but CFM!

He wants me to replace plantain chips with protein...and try to cut back on eggs. What else am I supposed to eat for breakfast?! I guess you don't have to eat 'breakfast food' for breakfast but it's the best meal of the day! I need some meal suggestions...should I just make an extra meat and veggie option and see how it works out?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Amanda M...Day 320

So weigh in yesterday wasn't horrible...but it wasn't great either. I dropped 5lbs in a week, which according to doctor's standards is great...but to me, not so much. I'm used to dropping at least 8-10lbs the first week back on track so I won't lie, I was a little sad. I think a lot of factors came in to play as to why: high stress at work, adding more carbs/calories, skipped a day at the gym, and didn't add in any running.

My motivation to eat well is strong and fine. My motivation to workout...not even close. Every morning my alarm is set for me to wake up and run on the treadmill that we set up in our basement but I completely ignore it for a mere 30 min of extra sleep. I don't know what it is...I had an easier time getting up even earlier and actually driving to a gym to run. I want this so bad but my brain is stuck in lazy mode!

Tonight's workout is going to blow. Box jumps and KB swings, oh what fun. Oh and weighted pull ups...can't even do one without a band. *thumbs up*

So that's my sob story. Don't feel like writing much else....just one of those weeks. Maybe I should skip the weigh ins--even though losing weight/fat is the main goal of mine.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Amanda M...Day 319

Today was an okay day. Changed up my diet---added oats and rice. So we will see how it affects my workouts throughout the week. Normally I don't eat ANY carbs other than from veggies and such so by wed/thurs I am totally wiped out of energy. I'm hoping to added carbs will keep me going throughout the whole week.

Breakfast: sausage, eggs and oats
Lunch: Chili with rice...homemade, my own creation. SO good. Had my boyfriend sweating but wanting more...more chili that is ;-)
Dinner...Also new to the diet...salmon. Jay said to add more to the diet and I did....can't say I'm a huge fan but I'll choke it down for the sake of nutrition.

WOD: 5min amrap of Fran which is a joke because I can't even finish one round in 5 minutes but whatever!

TERRIFIED to weigh in tomorrow. Normally I weigh in like everyday so it's not so much of a blow if I didn't do so waiting a whole week is driving me nuts. I almost don't even want to step on the scale lol but it must be done. Will let you know the results, of course ;-)

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Amanda M...316, 317 & 318

Friday: No workout, but went to the city for the day. I knew this was going to be hard but I powered through it! I brought jerky and sweet potato chips to keep me on track. It worked...I was still hungry but managed to ignore it.

Sat: Ate breakfast and lunch as usual. I actually went in to CFM for a workout too! I haven't worked out on a Saturday in a long time. It took all morning to talk myself into going but I'm really glad I did. I knew I would.

Saturday night was the biggest test so far. It was my best friends birthday and naturally she wanted to go out and celebrate. I offered to be DD in order to really keep myself from drinking and that worked. Man, it is not fun being the only sober one. Also, we went to a bar that served brick oven favorite. I had to sit around and watch as others drank and ate their hearts out. But I held strong. I want this so bad.

Today: Normal day. Breakfast was late, about 11 so it was more like lunch. Lunch was a small bowl full of the chili I was making with a side of sweet potato tortilla chips. Holy delicious. Cant wait for lunch this week!

HUGE! success today. I was basically forced to eat an Oreo today and I held my ground. I almost said yes but I am determined to make it to Christmas eve following the plan Jason gave me. I have never been able to go 3 weeks following rules to 100%. Some reason I feel this is a new me and I'm really excited.

Got the treadmill downstairs! Ready to tackle this week :-) Trying salmon out for dinner this week as well...not so excited about that haha but it needs to be done.

My new saying that I keep telling myself this round is that I may be upset about what I cant eat but it doesn't compare to how upset I get about what I see in the mirror. Little sacrifices for big gains!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Hi Everyone - Thursday 12/6

Hey Everybody!!

I've been M.I.A. Just layin low and waiting frantically practically crawling out of my skin for some news. The problem with me is when I'm anxious and waiting "patiently" for something I pretty much shut down. I just go to work come home and pace the apartment. I know weird.

Anyway here is what transpired and I'll give you a little background on why this was so important. You might want to grab some tea or coffee to read this one. ;-)

For quite some time I've been attempting to get into Whole Foods. Not just any position, I want a management position. Besides that Whole Foods is one of the top 100 companies to work for. Number 32 to be exact, and the pay is nothing to sneeze at in Whole Foods. You would know this to be true especially if you work in the food industry. Pay in this industry sucks major balls. I've literally interviewed 4 other times before and no dice. I've applied for a management training program for WF at least 10 times and I interviewed for it once before. The only reason I didn't get it was because I said I wouldn't relocate. Ok, ok give me a little break. At that time I was in a different mind set and I was so jaded and fed up giving my all with these jobs that I was just over it.

Fast forward to maybe 3 to 4 weeks ago I knew that one of my old coworkers from another restaurant just started in Whole Foods. I asked her to keep a look out for me. And she did! She gave me a heads up and dropped my name to one of the managers.
I got a call, came in for an interview and was offered the position on the spot. Yeah! Right? Well, yes and no. Yes! I'm in but NO it's a part time position and way, way waaaay under what I'm used to making per hour. But I was going to suck it up. Whatever I had to do to climb up the ladder I was willing to do it. But my plan was fast and furious. No playing around here. See the inital plan was to keep the full time and keep WF as a part time and eventually hustle my way to where I need to be. Well it seems that sounded like a well laid out plan for the universe. So the universe decided to shake things up as usual. My full time day job decided that he was going to be a total extra large dick and cut my hours and become extra crazy. So I quit.

So there I stood, what now. I had to have the talk with my team leader at WF and I was straight up with her just like I was in the interview. I informed and reminded her what my ultimate goals are within WF but if I can't get more pay with full time hours that I will unfortunately have to find a second job that can cover my costs. Well I truly wasn't expecting anything out of our pow wow. I just wanted to let her know where I stood and what I needed to do. She literally, immediately the same day spoke to the store manager, assistant store manager and some folks from the regional office and next thing I knew within 24 hours she had two options for me. First they can offer me full time hours at the rate I was asking for this would also include carte blanche benefits. Cool! The second option was a shocker. There just happen to be a open house that Friday for Management in training positions with a little more money. What!? She asked if I was ready for it and of course I said, "HELL YEAH BRING IT!!" I can go to the interview and if I don't make the cut then I would still be offered option one. Friday came and I smoked it. I had to interview with 5 different people, the last few were a bit frosty so it was hard to gauge how I did overall. I felt like I did well but it wasn't an explosion of awesomeness. I was told later that 85% of the interviewees never made it to the second round and were sent home with a thank you and hand shake.

Fortunately I had inside intel (my manager) who told me off the record that I got the position! BUT I didn't feel easy. I took her word as a grain of salt. I still wanted the official phone call from the regional office to tell me that I got it. I know, I know overkill but that's how I am. Frack! I waited till Wednesday afternoon to get the call. And now its official. I am in the management trainee program for Whole Foods!!
Now I've been told that the program has a high failure rate. Why? Well because its considered a self motivated program. Meaning it can take you 3 months or it can take you 6 months to complete. Anymore than that and you get the talk or the boot whatever comes first. Guess what this bitch is the human sponge (in case you didn't know) and I'm all over it like flies on shit. There's A LOT to learn but I'll be done by 3 months then hone every thing till its solid. I expect to move onto another store by summer time. Hopefully one of the 6 new stores opening between the summer and fall of 2013 in CT.

I just really want this to work out. I'm tired of working for crazy ass people. No place is perfect but damn give me a break!!! I've given blood, sweat, lots of tears, experienced bruising, sexual harassment and even physical fights in all my years in the restaurant industry. People always ask why do I stay in it. Well, I was out of it and worked in a corporate office for about 4 years. And it was nice in the beginning. Nice and calm. But I got bored. Crazy right? I love the food industry. But I love structure, a plan, respect of your employees, stability, love and quality of your product even more.

Now I have to get back on track. Gotta get the steady income, get back on track and squared off with my bills. At the same time get my big ass working out like the maniac I am and kill this shit! I'm so hungry for some power. I miss my bar and plates SO much. I feel like a jelly fish, soft and achy all the time. I haven't hit anything hard in almost a month or so.

Love you guys!!


P.S. 20% off my purchases at Whole Foods! What! Awww Yeah!! AND they have a fitness program. If I meet the requirements I can get 30% off. Hmmm gotta look into that! ;-)

Amanda M...Day 315

Yesterday was another successful day of clean eating. The cravings are starting to come at me though...on a scale of 1-10 it was probably at about a 4 last night. My roommate has christmas cookies that he puts out and naturally, living with 3 other people, there is tons of crap food in the fridge. But I managed...2 days down!

Workout was probably one of the worst ones in a while. 20 thrusters at a time? TORTURE! By the 10 min mark, my legs were complete jello. I honestly couldnt sleep because that's how sore I was...even the pressure of sleeping on my stomach was too much. Not a fun feeling and I hope it goes away soon as I am spending the night in NYC tomorrow...lots of walking!

Speaking of NYC...I'm already sad. Everytime I go in the city I get a vendor hot dog and pretzel. Not tomorrow! But you know what? It will be there when I'm where I want to be so I can wait. I want this so bad!

I need new workout clothes. I think a trip to the goodwill to get some crappy mens tshirts I can cut the sleeves off of are in order. Starting to really hate sleeves but womens tank tops are always too tight or short or low cut.......and expensive as hell. $25 for one tank top? Go f*ck yourself!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Amanda M...Day 314

Yesterday was my offical 'Day 1' of this new eating plan that Jay has me on. It wont be that far off from what I am eating now...during the week at least. The weekend though, I am a little worried. Back when I tried a sugar detox, I would literally get sad come Friday because I knew my weekend would be limited. However, this time around...I am feeling way more confident and ready. 3 weeks! I can do this...3 weeks leads me right up to Christmas Day haha how awful! But I couldn't think of a better gift to give myself than a better me!

Today I am in a pretty good mood...not sure what it is, but I'll take it!

WOD yesterday:

A1. Deadlift 115/135/145/155
A2. Shoulder press 65/65/75/75 (probably my weakest lift)

Hang Power Snatch x2-4
15 sec on AD
rest 90 sec

for HPS: 65/65/85/85/95/100

The 100lbs went up easy!! I guess these past 4 weeks of doing nothing but eating had some benefit haha strength for days.

Totally forgot how to do a normal deadlift. We have been doing one legged DLs and romanian deadlifts since forever! Colin looked at me like I was crazy when I laughed and said I pretty much forgot how to do a normal one. Good thing I got the hang of it by the second round. How embarrassing lol

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

James P

Hello All,
Just wanted to check in. The last three months have almost ruined by great start to the year. First six months I lost over 20lbs and have gained about 8-10 back. I was trying to figure out what I have been doing different so I turned back to the blog to find what I was eating the first half of the year.....the difference....Sugar!  Flavored latte's, beer, and some chips and salsa have returned and that is the difference. We started this around Mid January so I am determined to get back on track and get these 8-10lbs back off and continue to get to the weight and look I wanted.

Congrats to Amanda , Yade, Mauer for continuing to blog. Lets finish strong. When I was blogging everyday is when I had the best results so I may be back to it!


Monday, December 3, 2012

Amanda M...Day 313

Got my email from Jay today...only nutrition suggestions. I will still be doing classes but adding in some cardio. He wants me to add 20-30 min of easy running 2x a week. I will probably go for 3 because I'm an overachiever

My new rules: no nuts, nut butters, dairy, alcohol or fruit. Ugh...fruit is my only saving grace when dieting because I am a huge sugar fiend. Cutting cold turkey makes me fucking miserableeee!! Oh, and no peppers...I guess I eat them too much.

He wants me to add in more protein, seafood/fish (*gag* I hate seafood), fats, carbohydrates like oats, rice and sweet potatoes--a nice new change considering I've been taught to hate on all carbs. Drink plenty of water, eat healthy fats, etc etc. He also told me to try some new shit....yeah, I am defnitely guilty of eating the same things all the time.

No cheat meals!! That is where I have my biggest problem. Weekends are a fucking free for all so having to behave will be a huge huge struggle. It's my best friend's birthday this weekend too so not being able to drink is going to suckkkkk. Luckily, my boyfriend is 100% supportive and is going to help me as much as he can.

Anyway. It is only 730 and it is taking EVERYTHING I hate to keep my eyes open. No idea why I am sooooo tired....might just suck it up and go to bed

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Amanda M...Day 310, 311 & 312

Weekend was a normal one. Filled with cheats...of course.

So I guess they are starting a new contest at CFM? Excited. with weigh ins! That's the kind of contest I have been needing. Its the only way I stay on track. I need to dig out my idea where it is...

Short post today. Feeling lazy! lol talk to you guys tomorrow

Friday, November 30, 2012

Amanda M...Day 309

Yesterday was an ordinary day. Work was awful...people calling for money. Not new...but I had one bitch who really chewed my ass out. Normally, everyone is really nice and understanding. Hell, I may be the one Accounts Payable woman in the world who actually answers emails and phone calls. Its definitely not this really my life??

Workout was good. Worked out with Ellie! Been a while since we've gotten to squat together. It's always nice working out with people who are not only the same height as me but can lift the same as well. I hate working out with shorter people...I have to squat down before I even get loaded up to do a squat lol I'm used to it though!

Food yesterday was good. Had a mug cake for dinner though. I just needed some damn chocolate. Anxiously waiting to hear back from Jay...I wanna get this shit started! I know if I am given food lines to follow, I never stray. Its when I get to make decisions on my own that I really fuck myself over. My brain is stupid

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Amanda M...Day 308

Oh what a feeling...first week back at CFM after a month hiatus is taking a toll on my body. Holy shit, I haven't been this sore in forever. Had to take last night off...I was hurting bad. Every muscle that was the most sore was one of the muscles that I would have had to work last night so I thought it best to take a rest day. I spent about 30 minutes in our sauna...felt awesome. I think I will make a routine of it. How much is too much?

Food was on point until dinner...had some pasta. My roommate ate some while I was watching TV and it triggered some serious cravings. I need to get this shit under control before I start with whatever Jay has for me. I will not fail him or myself!

Shoutout to are awesome. I see great things in your future!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Amanda M...Day 307

So, meeting with Jay was quick. I wrote down my goals and what I eat on a normal basis. I even wrote down that on weekends I have cheat meals, drink alochol or sometimes skip meals altogether. He didn't say much...looked very serious. He intimidates the crap out of me sometimes lol

He saw my fat loss goal and that I had a goal weight. He told me that if I concentrate on fat loss as a priority, that I would lose some of my strength and get tired faster during workouts and if I was okay with that. I immediately said yes. However, as the rest of the night went on...I was rethinking that whole thing. I dont want to lose a lot of strength!

But THEN I went over to my boyfriends and talked to him about it. He said that losing as much fat as I want while trying to build muscle would take an immense amount of dedication and perfect 100% flawless nutrition. And then he asked me the right question. "Right now...without thinking...tell me if you want to get stronger or lose fat" and immediately I responded lose fat. So I guess the game plan right now is to get to my goal 'size' and then work on my strength. I know it will be easier for me to do a lot of movements without the extra 40lbs on me so we'll see how it goes...

Jay told me he'd have something for me by next week. Not sure if it will be a nutrition plan, workout plan, or both.

Workout yesterday wasn't horrible. Got up to 95lbs for the snatch triple. Felt good!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Amanda M...Day 306

So nice to speak with Anonymous (Brian) after class last night. Beyond amazed he has gone 100 days strict paleo. I wish I had that will power. Maybe I do...just not there yet. I need my sugar/chocolate or else I get extremely moody. Maybe it's a hormonal thing. Vaginas are a bitch

Anywho, last nights workout was not one of my favorites. Box jumps and I were never friends, and being out of the gym while stuffing my face with unmentionables for a month made me dislike them even more. I was on a 15" box and only managed about 5 jumps before I had to switch over to step ups. My legs were jello and I was huffing and puffing so hard....brought me back to my 260+lb days and I did not enjoy the feeling.

I will be meeting with Jay tonight to go over my goals and nutrition. I tossed and turned all night last night because it's all I could think about. Most people have a big list of goals. I have 2...

1. Fat loss (honestly, having the body I've always wanted will open the doors for me in more way than one--confidence, happiness, ability to move better, run better, pull ups, confidence to at least TRY moves that I'm too embarrassed to try and fail at)
2. Go-Ruck challenge. This is always something I've wanted to try, especially after reading about Yadi's experience!

The week days are great. The weekends...not so much. Curious to see what he will have to say about it. I hope he goes the tough love route...that always works for me. My karate teacher-whom I knew since birth and trained with for 20 years-was always hard on me. I miss it.

My big question for Jay tonight will be...programming. Should I do it? Or will I be successful on my own? Can he weight me in every week/two weeks to keep me in line?

I will let you know how it goes. In the is up with tonight's workout? Weird...

Monday, November 26, 2012

Amanda M...Day 304 & 305

Ah, the holiday is finally over. Now we have one month until the next shit show...time to do some work.

So my body basically hates me right now. I've stuffed it past its limits for days and I regret every bite (maybe wasnt regretting it while it was happening but definitely paying for it now...)

Today was the first time in a month that I was able to cook myself a good breakfast and lunch for work. It already feels great! Very happy to be back on track

So, this is going to be the game plan for me. I tried the no-sugar thing...twice. And each time, I failed miserably. And by that, I mean I had a few binge fests on candy and other sweets. I just can't live completely without...not yet. So, I brought dark chocolate covered almonds back into my life starting today. I will also be getting back into baking paleo treats. It keeps my cravings under control. Also, I've always been one to tell people "if you want something, just have it! Just dont go crazy..." so this method will keep me from going crazy.

I will let you all know how it goes--of course ;-)

Only 60 days left. Bittersweet. I will miss it looks like I'll have to get my other page back into shape so I can continue writing to an audience of 0-2 people lol

How did you guys survive the holidays?

Friday, November 23, 2012

Amanda M...Day 302 & 303

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Man, I really stuffed myself yesterday. More than once.

Thursday I ate everything in sight. It is so freeing be able not to worry about what I eat. Not beating myself up for having pie, cake and ice cream all in one sitting. But once I get to that point where my 'fat pants' are getting more and more uncomfortable and all comes crashing back. I get reminded of how miserable I used to be in comparison to how happy I was at my I just cant have my cake and eat it too...I will have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life.

Jay wants to meet up this coming week to go over my goals. I feel like I've been expressing my goals this whole year and keep falling short every time. What I need to do is find what is going to finally get my ass in to gear and to keep me there. Maybe he will have some insight

Maybe I need to do weigh ins with him. To have someone else see my progress--or lack thereof--to keep me in check.

Anyways...happy holidays lol

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving - Day 302

Amanda, Nitro...Love you guys. That's all I want to say about that.

Ok, so the hard fact is that I Yadhira "Yadi" Ortiz allowed to let life get in the way of my goals when it comes to my overall fitness. Not saying I'm completely in the shits BUT I'm definitely not where I want to be physically. My athletic abilities have taken a dramatic turn. I have strayed away from what is considered traditional CF woding and have given myself to Oly lifting. Not saying that I would never wod again because I will trust me. But as every who knows me and have seen my posts, Oly's got my heart.

The down side of it all is I can't afford premium membership for now (hopefully this dry spell will end soon) and unfortunately one of the requirements before a sanctioned meet is that you get weighed in. Now I haven't weighed myself in a REALLLLY long time. I have no desire to do so for once in my life. But I saw the magic number and it was heartbreaking (but not a surprise) for about 5 minutes. I couldn't let my head space go there before a meet but trust me its been floating around my head for the past couple of days. I gained alot of really, I mean a lot of weight. And no I'm not that mature to tell you how much I weigh ;-).
I'm actually confused that I can still fit in my clothing...but add more weight and it's a wrap. My one pair of skinny jeans? Forget it! My thighs violently laughed at me the last time I tried to wear them.
The beauty of it all is that I've grown mentally about this whole weight thing. I've become numb to it. Not too long ago I would totally trip and just get so down about my weight. It would change my mood like the sky was falling. Not anymore, I can't explain it. Now its like I tell myself, "ok bitch you know what you have to do now get to it! This ain't your first time at the rodeo!"
Hell I knew this almost two weeks ago without getting weighed. I knew that I had to shift gears and mean it and stop starting over and over again.

So what's the upside to this blog on Thanksgiving day. The fact of the matter is that the first time I lost the weight on my own with no gym membership. Just pure tenacity, want, determination and drive. So there is no reason to fuck up is there? If theres a will theres a way. I still have CFM, I went through the grapevine and found a stationary frame for my bike at no cost. So yea I have an airdyne minus the fan in my room now. So I just have to get just as creative like I did almost 3 years ago.

So if my calculations are correct we got 63 days till this YLA is over? Before I even saw this blog I knew as of Monday that today would be my last legit splurge. And starting anew on Friday. So I have 63 days to shake shit up. Lets start with a small time frame and see what kind of damage (in a good way of course) I can do in that time. I plan on going out with a bang on this one!!!


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Amanda M...Day 297, 298, 299, 300 & 301

Wow this has been the longest I've got without blogging...shame on me!!

Been home from work all week...first time I've been away for this long since I got my promotion. I was a bit worried about what kind of mess I'd be coming back to afterwards but the past few days have been so relaxing. I've been taking advantage of it! Being very lazy! Love it!

Holidays always mess up my eating. I know it's no excuse. Trying to work on not going completely overboard.

FINALLY have a fridge so I've cut eating out down to a minimum. It feels so good! I was starting to get really nauseous every night and it was really starting to weigh on me. It's crazy how much food  has an affect on your attitude.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Day 300? WOW

Just wanted to check in quick.  Amanda you are just the greatest!  You stuck with this YLA wholeheartedly and determined I just want you to know that you truly are doing an AMAZING job!!!  So proud of you...seriously!   I hope you stick with the 5:30am class...awesome group of peeps and I'm there like 3 days a week interning with Jason at 5:30 and 6:30. 

First I want to speak about my diet.  With the holidays coming I'm sure I will eat some bad stuff but overall I'm not really throwing in the towel...ever!  I have some cheats here and there but that will all change in the short term.  My diet will be the cleanest its ever been at the 1st of the year...including ZERO alcohol until after my fate has been determined!!!  The OPEN will be upon us soon, like 3 months and I plan on making a statement.  I haven't trained my ass off since April for nothing.  The 2013 Games has been and is the goal and now it's clearly close enough to be on my radar.  The programming is hard and will continue to get harder and harder as we approach the Games.  Jason has pushed my well beyond what I thought I could handle physically and thank god cause I have become so much better at everything.  Last Saturday I absolutely crushed Muscle Ups, usually I will only get a couple.  But on that day I actually looked like I knew what I was doing and damn did it feel good.  Also, my times on my met-cons are coming down significantly.  My gymnastics are getting better and so are my Oly lifts but relatively speaking both still collectively suck compared to elite CFers.  I'm training and trying to be patient but I just feel I'm running out of time.  I need to get better, fast and efficiently...its just so crazy.  I'm not afraid to do the work to get the results, its just I feel it's taking FOREVER to get where I need to be.  These are just my own mental problems talking, I just want to be better, stronger and hold my own against high level CF athletes.  I just got to keep going!!!

Any YLA peeps that come across this post...we are in the home stretch now.  You can still half ass everything and at the end "what if" yourself to death or...and this is a big OR...dig deep and finish strong and do the best to accomplish your goals and feel good about how hard you worked and how hard you pushed to finish strong!  We (CFers) fully understand this is hard work and it takes significant motivation and determination to push yourself beyond your comfort zone.  It all boils down to one commonality...HOW BAD DO YOU FUCKING WANT IT?!!!  There will be no "what if's" in my vocabulary!!!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Amanda M...Day 296

Yesterday was another 530 am class. Not bad! A whole bunch of stuff mixed in but honestly, If i never have to do another pushup again in my life, I am totally okay with it. My chest is totally shot! My abs too...Oh did I mention how much I loathe FLR? They really mess up my shoulders...its not fun.

Starting to get my groove back. Feels nice. I have all next week off so I'll be able to jump in any class I want! Should be fun to try out different times :-)

Anonymous thought more people would follow the blog? To be honest, I never expected much of a following from this. A few months? Yeah maybe a few people would be interested. But I knew that for a whole year, people would drop off....the members included. I think some people stopped blogging before month 4. It was sad to see...and still is. I still come on here in hopes someone will do a random check in...make me feel not so lonely in all of this...but, it rarely happens lol Really glad to see Yadi write some posts though :-) Keep it up! I like hearing how you're doing!

Would I do this again? Knowing I'd be the only one who would stick with this for a whole year solid? Absolutely. It helps just to get everything out, even if no one reads it. I miss the meetings though! Even though no one really showed for those either haha but at least the people who did make it brought awesome treats!

69 days left! Its go time

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Tough Decision(s)...Thursday

This is a quick one.

Well This past week has (once again) been one for the books. You know I've come to realize its never a dull moment for me. It may feel like it is when I have a quiet week but its all an illusion.

First of all I'm surprised I'm not breaking down yet. No, I mean a full out melt down. But I'm holding myself up right now. In sum I lost my job and I had to make possibly what felt like a the hardest decision I had to make to date. I had to decide to suspend my CF membership. I just couldn't afford it anymore. It's not the first time I've been in limbo with work and I've always managed to somehow keep the membership but this time the squeeze is too tight and I can't breath. Pressing the send button for that request via email hurt like a bitch. I mean it was weird. I didn't realize how attached I was to that place. I have to admit I was crying. I felt like I failed somehow someway. I feel like I'm going to gain even more weight and become 265 pounds again. Well...I felt fucked up!
I promised myself that I will have to be like many and CF/Oly on my own. I live on a second floor so this will be tricky. But I already have my brother and a friend of his with some connects on some used stuff like a barbell, a few plates. They're great scavengers they can find anything. The thing is how many times have we told ourselves that we will do something on our own and wind up vegging out instead.
This will be a test of will in many ways.

Still down, still sad, this sucks big fucking balls.

Amanda M...Day 295

Thanks for snapping me back to reality anonymous! I keep getting stuck in my old brain...back when I used to think I had to do cardio for like 4 hours a day to drop weight. Thanks for reminding me that strength days are just as, if not more, important.

Eating. Thats my biggest issue. I'm a huge food a crack addict. Except I use my spoons for ice cream, cookie dough or chocolate frosting. (Don't judge me.) I've come to realize that I just cant function with 100% strict eating like the lurong challenge. If I go that long without sweets (even paleo treats made with honey, etc) that I will binge my face off if I let my guard down for even a second.

I need to figure out what works for ME and stop relying for a strict challenge to come along and save me from myself. I have ALL next week off from work (so excited!!) I think I will spend it cooking up a storm. Huge portions of a bunch of things and just stock up the freezer.

Anyway...yesterday I started a new routine. I'm trying out the 5:30am class. I'm giving it a real go this time! (went this morning as well--got to see Maria!!) Its not that horrible. The classes are a bit smaller, I can get my workout out of the way so that after a long day at work I can just go home and relax. For some reason it is always easier to wake up and get to the gym when its 30 degrees out rather than do it in the summer. I'm really weird. So, anonymous, I probably wont see you for a while if all goes well haha not that I even know who you are. So mysterious. oOOoOoOo...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Amanda M...Day 294

So, I didnt run to the gym last night. It got a whole hell of a lot colder throughout the day and all my warm weather stuff is still in boxes (along with the rest of my life at the moment). But, I did get there. The gym is only .9 miles awesome is that?

RDL to the knees: 75/85/95/105
Power Clean 3.2.1: 125/145/155--its funny how my 1 rep max from just a few weeks ago is now part of a normal lifting day :-)
1 min amrap T2B
1 min amrap wall walks

Thank you guys so much for responding to my post yesterday. It was great to see both sides of the programming thing. Yadi, you are such a huge help! Getting that facebook message really got me pumped. Anonymous, you make some great points as well. Is it right for me?

I know if I email Jay and ask about programming, he is going to ask for my goal. I was thinking about this in the shower this morning...what I want most, more than to look good naked. Or better yet, feel great about myself while in my birthday suit. Thats it. It's that simple. I'm not looking to win the CF games...yet...but I need the cofidence first. I am strong. I have great form. I'm a natural born athlete. Yet, I have the confidence of a snail going into a horse race. I hide in the back. I hate standing out because I dont like people looking at me. I dont complete all reps because I dont want to be that fat girl who finishes last like I have my whole life.

Here's the thing. I dont know if programming would be good for that, or if I can get there with classes and I'm just not pushing myself hard enough. I just feel like I've been doing classes for 2 years now and have only maintained. I'm not going to drop weight with strength days like yesterday. Days like today...7 min AD and a kb/boxjump/DU workout? Yes.

Maybe I'll just email him and see what he thinks. Any other comments regarding my goal with programming are greatly appreciated!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Amanda M...Day 293

Shoutout to Anonymous. That quote you left in the comments yesterday really hit me hard.

I wont give up. I've come to far to let a few shitty weeks get the best of me.

I'll be back at the gym tonight--and I will be running there from my house. Knees are feelings better and I am more motivated than I have been in a long time.

Yesterday was a long day at work. Ate okay, minus a chocolate mug cake I made after the salad I had for dinner.

Thinking of trying the programming route come December. Good idea or no?

Monday, November 12, 2012

Amanda M...Day 290, 291 and 292

What a fucking weekend.

Friday I took off of work and spent the day packing up my room. I really didnt think I had that much shit...until I dug deeper and deeper under my bed and in the closet lol it took me forever!!!

Saturday, we were up by 7am and didnt close the door to the empty old house til 10:30 pm. It was a long day of lifting, going up and down stairs with heavy furniture and boxes, swearing, sweating and just wanting to kill people. So so glad it is over...well, at least that part is over.

Yesterday was the Colony Grill 5k...I didnt run it. My knees and back were all fucked up from everything I did the day before that I just knew it would be a really bad idea. After the race I spent the day unpacking...not my favorite thing. I have so much shit that I just want to throw away at this point. Luckily we unloaded everything into the garage so we can unpack things one by one instead of living among boxes inside the house....and anything that I dont move into the house by Chritmas, I am just getting rid of it.

The workout today looks horrible. I have absolutely 0 motivation to get in there today just because I know what is waiting for me at home and it doesnt help that my knees are still a little sore and beat up. Maybe I'll go for a walk/jog instead. I dont know. I've lost all hope at this point.

Oh, our fridge at the new house is broken. Might as well have stayed at the beach house. I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO LIVE LIKE NORMAL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If i have to eat out for one more meal I will loose it.

Oh and Lurong challenge? Out the window...I've given up. The past 2 weeks have been hell and it isnt over for me yet either. The last thing I need after all this is to see that I've gained inches and lost improvement.

Gonna have a break down soon if things don't start looking up...I never break down. But I feel it coming...

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Amanda M...Day 289

What the hell...we cant catch a break!!!

My suprervisor pretty much forced me to go home early yesterday because my street was supposed to flood AGAIN. I'm not so much complaining about getting out of work early...but I just want a week that is stress free. I feel like it's been forever..

No workout. It took me long enough to get I can only imagine how bad the roads were later on in the night. I didnt want to chance getting home from the gym and not being able to get to my front door.

Cant workout tonight either because we are meeting with the new landlord. So there goes another week basically that is shot to shit.

I havent started packing, my room is a disaster...I really hope this move goes smoothly. I want my normal life back!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Amanda M...Day 288

Better day. Slept great except for waking up completely drenched in sweat...I even had the window open and there was frost outside in the morning lol not sure how I get so friggen hot.

Food: protein shake in the morning for breakfast, campbells southwest chicken chili for lunch, chicken parm with whole wheat pasta for dinner. All 'okay' besides dinner but hey...if my boyfriends mom offers to make me free food while I have no kitchen to cook for myself, I'll take whatever she is making.

WOD: First day back in over a week...had the jitters like crazy. I hate that feeling! Almost like first day of school nerves. It was a good day to come back...power cleans! lol nothing gets me back in the gym faster than those babies.

Hang power cleans, bench press, barbell rows, and AD sprint. A minute AD sprint, really?! That was just mean.

You know what else is mean? Todays workout....holy shit, I am not going to be able to walk for a week. I need to stop thinking about it or else I am going to make an excuse not to go lol

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Amanda M...Day 287

Another shitty day. My food intake was a lot better...well, as good as Paleo can get given my situation. I really wanted pizza for, really fucking badly. But I went to stop n shop's salad bar instead. Wise move!

No cousin called me last minute and needed a babysitter so I spent my night chasing around a 2 year old. Jesus, if I had half of the energy she has I'd get twice as much done in a day.

Good news...we are moving. It's quite clear that our house would not be finished any time soon so we decided to look at other houses. And by other houses, I mean just one. It is so hard finding a 4 bedroom! We had 1 option and THANK GOD we got it...or else we'd be stuck in a kitchenless house for god knows how long.

I will miss the beach...alot! I never really went out on it, I stayed in the AC most of the summer--I overheat even in the winter. But it was always so nice to look at in the morning with the sunrise. We are trading that in for a house that is within a mile from cool is that?! I think that I will start running there and back--just to get in a little more of a workout. Hopefully this winter wont be horrible.

We move in this weekend. I am going to go CRAZY with cooking. I cant wait to be back to a normal a clean and complete house...woo! If anyone knows a cheap truck rental place, let me know!

Monday, November 5, 2012

It's Time...

It's time for a change.
I don't know what or how. That's whats really bothering me, but I do know it's time for a change.
A change from working in these legitimate shit jobs, being unhappy with my path. But how but when is the big questions. I think about it everyday. It's almost unsettling. I know for a fact that this isn't it, I can feel it in my bones. And no I just can't change it the very next day. I have responsibilites and I am the sole provider so I can't just do it like these feel good stories you see on TV. It has to be a slow (not too slow)  progression into it. BUT WHAT!!???

On a good note I had some PR's at Gary's this Sunday:

Squat Snatch: 88#'s
Clean & Jerk: 121#'s
Back Squat: 215#'s

Boo Yaaa!!!!

Amanda M...Day 284, 285 and 286

Still no no fridge or stove. Its really starting to get to me. There are only so many things that you can eat that doesnt need to be refrigerated...and can be cooked in a microwave. So basically, if I'm not eating out...then I am stuck eating extremely processed microwavable foods. This weeks menu? Hormell beans. That's as paleo as I can get in this situation, I'm afraid. And it fucking sucks.

Bought an omelette this morning...brocc and bacon. Paleo!.....Seven-fucking-dollars. Fuck me.

On the bright side, we found a house. We are just waiting to hear back about our background checks from the realtor. Please lord, let us be able to move in this weekend! I miss having a whole house!!! I'm going crazy!! My room is a disaster because it is the current living room and storage area. So everyone is in their all the time, and so is their shit. Kind of annoying...I dont mind a messy room--I'm a girl, clothes are usually everywhere....but this is just shit, all over the place. UGH!! Sorry, venting

Oh yeah...I WENT SKYDIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was absolutely amazing. It went by SO fast. Once we got there and checked in, we were suited up and boarding the plane within 20 minutes. They went through instructions crazy fast because they were trying to beat the weather (was starting to get really windy) Once we were in the guy just scooted my ass to the door, had me smile for the camera, counted to 3 and we were flyin!! I didnt have any time to freak out or back out so it was perfect. The free fall was about 60 seconds, with a few minutes coasting with the parachute. I cant believe I actually did it. I cant speak in front of an audience or go to a party by myself but I can jump out of an airplane. I'm weird...

I want to live. Like truly live. I guess that's what happens when you highten your senses to such an extreme. It makes you realize how boring the rest of your life is. I go to work--a job I don't love but tolerate...go to the gym, go home, eat and sleep. Then do it all over again. Where's the excitement? The waking up and not wanting to just stay in bed all day?

Friday, November 2, 2012

Amanda M...Day 283

Friday: Nothing new going on. No gym, shitty food, shitty house but my outlook is still pretty positive.

Going skydiving tomorrow...was suppose to go last weekend but it was too cloudy. Hoping tomorrow it's going to happen! Woo!! I need it...I need a life changing experience!


So this week has been one giant Wod. It tested and it still is testing all of us in many, many ways. This one sure isn't for time. It's more like AMRAP....with a little bit of GoRuck mixed into it just so it could fuck with your mental toughness and to see how long its going to take before you break.

I thank God everyday that we were prepared for what was coming and we were getting mentally prepared to go without light and little food for more than a week. We got light after day 2, so it was a blessing.

My prayers go out to everyone severely affected by this storm and I know as humans we will fight through. It won't be easy but it will be done.

On a slightly different note. I got back into the gym this morning. Holy smokes I think it was harder to wake up and drive in than it was to do the actual wod. I'm to blame 100%. I stayed up too late, so I had to pay the piper. I didn't know what to expect this morning in terms of my performance. But I surprised myself again. I Rx'd the damn thing. Yes! Once again another boost in confidence that I am getting stronger. Very surprised because I haven't been working out since GG. So we're talking about almost 2 weeks!!

Very ready to start programming. Just waiting for Jays email for the actual wods then I get my lazy, fat ass back into gear!!!

Have a super safe and properous weekend!!!


Thursday, November 1, 2012

Amanda M...Day 280, 281, and 282

That Sandy sure was a bitch. We prepared for the worst so when we came back to see that our house was still in one piece, we were beyond relieved. Sure, 3 ft of water had been an unwelcomed guest while we were away but at least we didnt lose anything valuable...(besides a fridge, that is already becomming a huge issue)

Tuesday I spent all day ripping out our carpet and linoleum...and let me tell you, that was not easy. We washed our walls because of the water lines that were left. We tried mopping up the mud and water in our kitchen but it just got pushed around so we were literally on our hands and knees using a sponge to pick it up and wring it out into a bucket. It took a while..........a long while.......

I wont be at the gym this week. As soon as I leave work, I head back home to do more damage control. Yesterday was my bedroom--the current storage space from all the things we didnt want damaged that was downstairs. Tonight is the kitchen. Everything in the fridge needs to be tossed out, dishes are everywhere, its a mess. But ya know what? I still have a home and my health and that's all that matters. I may have it worse than most in Milford, but there are people even worse off than me. Thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost everything and many thanks to all those who have offered my roommates and I help in all forms.

Oh, you're probably curious as to what I've been eating. SHIT...complete and utter shit. Peanut butter fluff sandwiches, fast food, candy....anything that is quick/easy and doesnt need to be kept cold or reheated. It sucks. My body is hating me. I miss paleo more than I thought I would...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Silence after the Storm...

What can I say that hasn't been said before...

It's a mess. Bridgeport as a city is totally down. No power and its a mess. I don't expect power for at least a week or more. This experience is quite humbling. I never lived beyond my means. But this gets you down to brass tax with no electricity. It's only been a couple of days and it's challenging to say the least. We didn't have a lot of food in the fridge so that's a bonus. But once we get done with what we have that's it. We will have to get creative and get food day to day and cook it the same day.

I'm doing a lot of sketching, thinking and knitting. I don't particularly care for the thinking part but that's what happens when you don't have that white noise anymore, well at least for the time being.

I'm just happy everyone is safe right now. I'm still scared of the traffic situation with no lights. People tend to forget (or not care) that there are rules to follow even though you don't have a traffic lights.
On top of that we need to get our asses back home before dark. Yeah it sounds crazy but I will be the first to admit that should this blackout last too long it only makes the natives restless and bad things happen. Yes I was born and raised in Bridgeport and have lived through the worst period of Bpt from the mid 80's well into the early 90's. But I still no better to get my fat ass and family back home, lock the doors and keep your head on a swivel.
The mayor knew what he was doing when he called in the national guard. It's no fucking joke in the port if given the proper set up i.e. a blackout.

Anyway, with all of this thinking I've decided I give programming one more try. I admit that I haven't been giving it 100%. It had nothing to do with Jay. He is a programming genius to me. It has all to do with me, myself and I. Nothing more. I have to get my priorities straight if I plan to do this right! So with this final try I will give 100% and be what I KNOW I should be. Nothing more nothing less.


Monday, October 29, 2012

Amanda M..Da7 276, 277, 278 and 279

Fri-Today (Monday)

Took the weekend off to celebrate Halloween. People LOVED my costume...probably one of my best yet. I drank alot and ate alot. Fuck it!

Diet has been out the window. Been using Sandy as an excuse...not a very good one but hey, shit happens.

My house is in the middle of it all. Not sure what I will be coming back to in a few days so I'm not too excited about it.

Will update more tomorrow....if we have power!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Amanda M...Day 275

What a day. Work was busy and then I came home to find a wig for my costume that looked NOTHING like the picture and totally threw my idea of being Paula Deen right ou the window. I was so excited to talk about butter in a drunken stupor all of Saturday night. Thanks alot ebay! You asshole!

So after work, I was in a frenzy. I went to goodwill, the halloween super store, savers, Walmart in west haven, walmart in Milford and Joann Fabrics. Naturally, my new costume idea didn't come to me until Walmart in West Haven...which only had the brown sweatshirt that I needed and not the pants. The Walmart in Milford had the pants I needed but not the sweatshirt! Go fuckin figure!!

So yeah, yesterdays workout was AMRAP Halloween shopping. I was actually quite miserable throughout most of it was like a crossfit workout anyways haha

What idea did I come up with you ask??

Yup...I'm dressing up as a bear and walking around with pieces of toilet paper stuck to my ass. Should be a good time. AND! when the bar bathrooms run out of toilet paper like they always do, I'll be the most popular girl in the room. I see free drinks in my future....

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Amanda M...Day 274

Another 8 hours of sleep. Felt great all day!

Food: Clean, no more pie :-( I did, however, eat a paleo cake in a mug. It had honey in not Lurong approved. How 1 tbsp of honey is a cheat is kind of ridiculous, but whatever!

20 minutes of hell
20 thrusters @ 75#--really REALLY struggled with these. I need to stop letting my ego get in the way of stripping weight off the bar. I should have stuck with 65 or something
20 pull ups--did jumping pullups. When it's shorter reps, I usually do negatives and I'll feel it the next day. But for 20, I just knocked them out...doesnt feel affective though.
200m row--did this instead of air dyne, instead of DUs. I can do DUs but not enough for me to get winded from it. I always trip up right before it starts getting intense.

The workout was rough. It's amazing how you can completely murder a workout one day...and then get annihilated by one the next. I wanted to cry...performance was shit. But, I slept it off. Today is a new day...

Also thinking of getting programmed by Jay. I mean, full blown programming. Not just a few running workouts in the am to supplement me doing classes at night. I need him to turn me into the athlete I know that is hiding inside me somewhere because its obvious that I'm not bringing it out on my own.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Amanda M...Day 273

Been getting to bed by 10 the latest and waking up for 6:30...8 hours of sleep feels FANTASTIC. Plus, I am fighting off a cold or something so the extra sleep is helping. My boyfriend stayed the weekend and he had a pretty awful cold. So far, all I have is a nasty cough so I think I made it *knock on wood* I'll take a cough over a runny/stuffy nose any day.

Food: Clean all day...then finished off the pie I bought this weekend. I love baked goods. I should have never bought the damn thing! I knew I was going to annihilate it myself.

5 sets of a heavy single/PR hang power clean
CG bench press
Snatch Grip RDL
30 sec AD sprint

My PR for the HPC was 155lbs and the last time I tried it, it went up easy so I knew I was going to PR last night...I just didnt know it would be by 15lbs! I was going to shoot for 160 and be satisfied if I got it but it was a big class and there were no 2.5lbs anywhere in sight. So I went with 165...missed the first, but got it the second time. This is when Jay came over...told me it went up too easy and to put 5 more lbs on. You don't say no to just doesnt happen! So I borrowed someone's 2.5lbs and tried it...failed. It didnt help that Jay was crouched on the ground with his camera, ready to take a picture. I had stage fright lol I went again...failed. Jay gave me a few words of wisdom. Failed. He said what he had to say and then walked away--I think he thought I had enough. Fuck that, I was going to get it. Once he walked away, the pressure was off. I was on my own. Bar went up and I cleaned it with ease....just to turn around and see Jay, all the coaches, and half of the class watching me do it haha dammit! I dont like an audience. But it fuckin happened! And I was so excited.

It was a great day...a much needed moment of glory.

Yadi name dropped me with her oly coach Gary Valentine and got me the hook up!! I will be workin out with them both next Tuesday. Maybe I can PR again! So excited :-) Jay told me I could easily get 200lbs...let's see if I can prove him right by the end of the year.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Amanda M...Day 272

Didnt sleep long enough. But thats normal these days

Food: I had some chocolate and some pie. Screw it. I am trying to stay positive about this lurong thing but do they expect us normal folk to stay motivated when they throw these retardedly ridiculous workouts at us. Even the scaled versions are nearly impossible. Can we please get the fuck away from body weight movements--pullups, dips, etc? And just do at least ONE wod that has heavy lifting? So unfair...

WOD: Skipped the gym. It was just too nice out so I went for a run instead. I did 4.1 miles...ran and walked. It was nice and relaxing.

Hang power cleans tomorrow. Kinda excited...I need a workout that I know I will do well with. I need an uplift right now.

The Experience...10/21 & 10/22

So the weekend...yeah...ummm where do I start. It was intense. At first thought I remember Jay using his Jedi mind trick and convincing us to do the Garage Games.
He said, "just have fun, do it for fun" he says.
I say, "ok" just knodding my head like the goof that I am.
I can't say no to the man! Damn you!!!

Anyway, I knew what to expect in terms of the levels of badassery that was going to be there. I volunteered last year so I knew this was going to be something completely different when you're actually in it.

Saturday was a complete bust for me. Wod one was the overhead squat which I could have done better with. I can squat 95# but I got only as far as 75#. The trick with me is I have to gradually build meaning I had to do the 85# before the big jump to 95#. But because we couldn't back track without doing the burpee penalty I just said screw it. I'll will try it the 95# straight out. So that was a bit of a fail for me. Wod #2 was a two mile run. I was already not feeling it but I knew it had to be done and I was determined to get it done no matter if it took me beyond the 20 minute cap. 3-2-1 GO! I went, I was running, good pace, then all of a sudden BAM! heal spur made its appearance and stabbed me right in my heal. I stopped and dropped right on the ground. I hobbled over to where the judges were standing and yeah I was crying like a baby, not because I was in pain but because I failed my team, my foot failed me and so far my ego was in the shits. Here are the Garage Games, athletes are duking it out and giving it all they had and here I am the fat chick who isn't even sweating because my effort level so far has been a 5 out of 10!

Wod #3 Pure Pharma. I felt like I could redeem myself and my team with this one. Mostly lifts, Power Snatch, shoulder to over head, Cleans then box jumps and burpee plate jumps. The strategy was good. Kim would do most of the reps when it came to box jumps and burpees and I would take all the reps on the lifts. And that worked out and it worked out well. Day one down, and as I drove home I still wasn't happy with the day overall. I felt small, I definatley didn't feel like an athlete and I beat myself up mentally for the rest of the night. I kept telling myself, "why am I Crossfitting?" "I'm quitting CF, fuck it." "I'm no good, I can't keep up with these people, and why the fuck am I in this competition!" "Who do I think I am!" I actually thought why even do the 2nd day, I just might mess that up as well. But I couldn't do that to my team.
The crazy thing is. I'm not a competitive person, I'm really not. I don't brag or boast. If anything I sell myself short for almost everything in life. So what I was feeling was just complete failure on my end. I am my worst critique no matter what I do.

Sunday, I came in head hanging low. But as soon as I walked in I had a bunch of the CFM fam come up to me and told me that I could do it. So I knew I had to change gears mentally. I went outside, took a deep breath and decided I'm going to slay this shit and go to crazy town on it.
Wod #4 The Air Dyne. He should have called it Air Dyne Death. It was nasty. 16 total minutes for the whole team. 8 min for the girls and 8min for the guys. The ongoing strategy was balls out @ 100% for 30seconds. If there's one thing I remember in my fitness journey that started 4 years ago is. You can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds!! Kim and I started up and that's what we did. 30 seconds at a clip 100% effort. Thighs were on fire and completely out of breath. Thank goodness 8min were up. I murdered that shit! That's right then I hobbled away because my quads were contracted for the next 15minutes...oye vey that was painful!!!

Now the hardest part was waiting for at least 2 hours to get our last and final Wod in. Yup that Wod was Fran. Oh man...what nasty thing can I say about Fran that hasn't been said by others. I've only experienced Fran one other time early in my CF days but I was well aware of the mental and physical damage she can give someone. I knew I would be scaled for pullups but scaled for thrusters was 45#. 45#'s really?? I tried it out in the warm up area and the bar was flying.'s the moment of truth folks. Here is where you have a straight up conversation in your head with yourself and you say do you go easy OR do you challenge yourself and walk away like you broke somebodies back and felt great about it. Minutes before our heat was called I just said hey I'll do Rx weight which was only 65# and obviously scale the pullups. Here we go, show time.
The guys went first since they are faster and they can do legit pullups. They did awesome they were fighting hard but wow they pulled through. Now the moment of truth, I was amped ready to go. Can I do it, will I fail. No time to think about that right now. My mom, bro, CFM members were all behind me cheering me on. Fight or Flight...It's time to Fight!

I hate thrusters but I was crushing them. I did 18 in a row, my shoulders were smoked I threw the bar down took about 5 deep breaths picked it back up and did the final 3 to complete 21. I went to the bar to do jumping pullups. Not as easy as they look because they have to be fast and on top of that I didn't have enough plates so I had to jump extra hard to get my chin over that damn bar. Did my 21 and back to the bar to do 15 thrusters. Now everything changed. Suddenly I get into this different world. I know I'm tired and I know I can't quit. There is so much happening around me but it's kinda fading away, no I'm not going to pass out. This was some real shit happening. I can still hear people screaming my name, Katie to my right coaching me and telling to push, my brother just a few feet behind me yelling my name, my team mates are right in my face telling me to go, go, go!!! But everything I see and hear is almost muted. I pick up the bar and start my 15, they were broken maybe clusters of 3 to 4 but they felt good. They weren't sloppy, my squats were deep, my overhead was tall and powerful. I just felt like I was outta of air but somehow someway I was still going and pushing. Next thing I did my jumping pullups and finally my last nine thrusters. The clock was ticking down. I think I had less than 90sec on the clock I think. I said to myself I have to as least complete these thrusters. So I pushed out five, dropped the bar then 6, 7, and....8. Times up. I stumble over to the plates to sit. I cried a little for a few seconds. Then suddenly, I didn't see any faces but all I heard and felt were hugs, kisses and cheers from everyone around me. It was a fucking Rudy moment.
I did it. I may have not completely finished fran but I did it. I pushed hard and left everything on the floor and then some.

Now I'm content, redemption is sweet. No matter what anyone says, I had to prove to myself that I belong. I may not have been chisled with muscles and a super athlete but I can hang. I can do what I do best.
Now will I do that again next year??
Hell fucking NO!
No really, I don't know. It depends what path I'm on at that point. If I'm a better CF athlete maybe, maybe not.
Now I have to get back to my true love Oly Lifting.


Amanda M...Day 269, 270 & 271

Friday: I skipped the gym because, well...there was no 530 pm class and the workout wasn't interesting enough for me to want to wake up for the 530am class lol just being honest! Ate well, went to bed early since I was going to be at the garage games all day.

Saturday: Wow...the garage games are no joke!! I was exhausted, and all I did was judge!! I wasn't expecting to judge and I really didn't want to but I was needed so I stepped up. I had to judge the damn 3rd WOD. I never knew how hard it was to keep count while checking form...and while being asked by 3 of the team members how many reps their teammate had left. Listen, I'm counting up and you're asking me to subtract that in my head from the total amount, while still counting the guy doing the work...shut up and listen to me yelling! And by yelling, I mean my voice was completely shot by the end of the day.

Second rant: These people were no newbies, they knew how to do a movement and how to do it correctly. One or two slipups--thats fine. But there was one guy who I yelled at to correct his form (stand all the way the f*ck up when you're doing sholder to overhead!!!) at least 5 times...and he was also no repped by Jay AND Colin...yet he still continued to do it wrong. I felt like an ass cause Colin had to no rep him when he was watching me judge (I had completely given up on correcting him at that point)--I was ready to just disqualify the group lol I wish I had some CFMers come to me, I knew they would have been flawless

Sunday: I decided not to judge cause I need a day to myself, it's just how I operate. We went to Silverman's farm, fed some animals, got some apple raspberry pie (OUT OF THIS WORLD AMAZING!!) and I read a book while the bf watched some football. Was a nice relaxing day!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday 10/19

It's a quick and dirty one today. Just the way I like it!

No woding for me since Wednesday. That's ok because I'm going to f*cking murder Garage Games Saturday and Sunday (Positive thoughts here people, work with me I'm scared to death).
Five wods in two days? I think I'll fulfill my wod quota for the week!!

I called out of work today to chill and get my food ready for the next two days AND I have an interview later this afternoon. All of it well worth it I think.

A little worried about Wod two with the friggin 2 mile run. Thanks Jay! NOT!! I'll definitely be the last effin one to get back ;-P
I will post Sunday night about my whole experience. I think it will be interesting no matter if it turns out good or bad. But mostly I feel nervous about it but I truly and deeply believe we will ALL surprise ourselves on our performance during the games. The energy alone brings your performance to another level.



Thursday, October 18, 2012

Amanda M...Day 268

Food was good today. Didnt eat dinner. I came home from the workout and downed a protein shake and a banana. Does that count for dinner? Sure..

Lurong challenge. 7 minutes of deadlifts @ 105# and HR pushups. 1+1, 2+2, 3+3, etc etc. I got in 10 rounds and 4 deadlifts. 114 total reps

Then I did the performance WOD: of 1 1/4 squats sec on the AD

Wasn't too horrible.

Skipping out on jersey shore and going to bed. I'm too old for this shit lol

Amanda M...Day 267

Slept from 1015-630...I love getting a full nights sleep. I get so cranky when I know I am going to bed late. I dont know how my friends can manage going to bed at midnight and waking up for work everyday.

Food: Added another egg in for breakfast and felt much better throughout the day. Also brought a bigger portion of my spaghetti squash and meatballs. I was really fully...a feeling I haven't felt in a while lol

4 rds-
800m ROW
25 push press 55#
25 K2E

Yeah, I rowed. Sue me. If I ran instead, I would have been there all night. I HATE finishing last when it comes to running workouts. Heavy power clean workouts like last week? Fine, I don't care because my ass is lifting 2x as much as the other women. Running? No...I'm still embarrassed by it. So I rowed. Besides, I've been running in the morning and would rather save my legs for that.

Weighed myself this morning. I really need to stop doing that. Seeing that scale number makes me really not want to eat. I battled with slight anorexia. (I feel like one of those fat guys wearing those "I beat anorexia" t-shirts when I say that because I'm no where near looking anorexic) I would have a glass of milk and half of a tuna sandwich..........and that's all I would eat all day. Sometimes I would just eat the tuna out of the can without bread. If I ate something I wasn't supposed to, I'd add in an extra hour of cardio. If I added extra workouts without eating more, I'd allow myself a watered down gatorade just to keep me going. It was bad...I looked fabulous...but it was bad. Every once in a while I get tempted to go down that road again but I know there would be no way I could survive a CF workout doing that shit. Oh, and because its unhealthy apparently..........

Ughhhhhhhhh. My body needs to stop being a dick and just do what I want.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wednesday 10/17

Good Morning Everybody!

All is well in the land of Yadi.

My alarm went off this morning at 4:45 & 5:00 (back up alarm) and guess what I didn't get up to wod. I was extremely tired. Last night (Tuesday 10/16) I went straight to an Oly session, got there about 7pm, changed and started warming up around 7:15pm or so. I didn't leave till 9:30 and didnt get home till after 10pm. LONG day and night. Unfortunately I ate a late dinner. I don't like eating that late but I had no choice and by the time I showered, digested, caught up with mom and stuff I probably didn't fall asleep till Midnight-ish.
Besides 4 rounds of an 800 meter run this morning wasn't going to happen anyway, sorry Jay. Gotta save the knees for this weekends Garage Games.

Last nights Oly session went extremely well. I wasn't in the mood to go because I was just tired from work but I knew I needed and had to go. He had me focus on my Clean and Jerks for the whole session. And I did GREAT! I got 20 out of 20 successful lifts and each one better and better as I went on. Once I got to number 12 or 13 my form was so on point for the Clean that the bar was practically flying past my face with each weight increase. The Jerk portion of it was good but it could be better. Successfully made all my Jerks but I could have gone even deeper with my split. But everything felt great. I think Coach Gary mentioned next time we do C&J we are going to with some more weight. He's very confident that I can handle an increase here and there. No big jumps of course. My next session next week will be all Snatches. Ugghh its my weak lift but its what I have to concentrate on. ;-) I have to give it to Jay he was soooo right when he said I found my thing. I really love this stuff!

A little stressed out with work but I'm trying very hard not to let it consume me. You know the saying "take it day by day"? Well here at this place its "hour by hour". It's that intense, and trust me I'm not even exaggerating about this. I'm girl number 6 in the that office, yes that's right 5 other women have outright quit and 4 other GM's before that. So that should give you an idea of what a circus it is in there. It's ok though I've submitted my resume to so many places in the past 2 days at least ONE person hopefully should call.
It will work out for me. I always make it happen one way or another ;-)

Well off to work, then I gotta get my head shaved later this evening! Haha!

Laters!!! xoxoxox

Amanda M...Day 266

Yesterday: Went to bed at 9:15 and woke up at 5 to go running. Man, I really needed all that sleep. It felt amazing

Food: Normally, I eat sweet italian sausage with 3 eggs over easy for breakfast. Yesterday, I switched to turkey sausage and just 2 eggs. It is CRAZY how just a little tweak in the diet can totally fuck up your day lol The crossfit WOD took everything I had...I felt like I was going to pass out.

4 rounds of:

8-10 DL 115#
15-20 CG bench 65#
15-30 KB swings 55#
Dip hold as long as possible--(I did 1 round, and skipped the next 3. I feel absolutely nothing doing I doing something wrong?)
40 sec row for watts: 433/396/376/3-something. I couldnt even finish the last round. I was completely smoked.

4 rds of 800m runs today? Soooooooooooooo not excited..................

Monday, October 15, 2012

Amanda M...Day 265

Holy balls, only 100 days left. I can't believe how fast this year has gone!

Sleep: Didn't go to bed til 11, way too late. I really wanted to wake up and run but it didn't happen. I was so tired.

Food: back to being 100% clean. Have a bit of a headache, but it will pass.

FFESS: elevated split squats...not my favorite. They feel so awkward to me

8 min amrap:
Ascending squat clean thrusters
2 pull ups

Got in almost 8 rounds. I was being careful with the squats because of my knee and it was feeling good so I am happy about that.

Then I came home and the roommate and I did a yoga session. It felt relaxing! Definitely want to get more into it.

Monday 10/15...WTF

Good Morning Everyone,

Today is Monday and it's as intense as I thought it was going to be. It's funny because I truly do have a gut instinct. I've had as far as I can remember. Not to sound hokey or anything but I can truly sense certain things. Its just that I'm more in tune to what's around me. I can see and feel out things that other people would completely miss. Today the new General Manager who was only here for about a month or so was fired this morning. I knew that wasn't going to last long. The owner is a super Alpha and he's crazy as hell. And I only have a job right now because I'm the only capable person left in the office. Technically I should be fired because I made a typo on one of the events for this weekend. So the owner sparing me right now. I'm super stressed out. Now that the GM is gone everything falls on me.

This morning I went in for my Wod and I did ok. I wasnt 100% on it. I think I was chillin a little bit too hard this weekend and did absolutely nothing. So my joints were screaming at me and my flexibility was hardly there.

I have nothing else to say. It's one of those days...ready to cry. Just holding it together. :-/

Amanda M... Day 262, 263 & 264

Friday: I took a rest day because I was going to be running the next day. Sprint workout? No thanks on a normal day...but a special hell-fucking-no on the day before a race...

Sat: Hartford 5k!! Had a blast. I really hate myself for signing up for a 5k all the way up until it is over. Then I'm like, fuck yeah! Running! They gave us free bagels and there were tons of vendors handing out free samples so I enjoyed myself and ate some.

Sun: Lots of running store, ikea, grocery shopping, back to apple store (phone is finally fixed--woo!), then home to relax.

Lots of squats today...not sure if I will go to the box or go running instead. Knees are still on the fritz but they feel okay when I run. Squats...not so much...

Friday, October 12, 2012

Friday 10/12

I took today as a rest day. I thought it was a good day to do so because the wod was sprint running. And we all know how sprint running isn't even in my vocabulary and the Air Dyne...well lets just say I have a hate/hate relationship with that thing.
I start work at Noon today so it was nice to sleep late. Keep in mind sleeping late for me is till 8am at the latest, I just naturally wake up between 8 sometimes 9 if I'm lucky.

My body is a bit stiff a little sore, but nothing major.
Right now my mind is racing and I am desperate to change jobs. Yes, yes I know again. But if you guys knew from the inside how unstable and just crazy this industry is it would blow your mind. If you do ever find a legit, stable place in the food industry it would definitely be like winning the grand prize. It just doesn't happen very much.

Off to work! Positive mindset, "Today will be an awesome day at work!"

Have a good day and weekend everyone! Have fun, tell dirty jokes, laugh a lot, eat great food!!


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Amanda M...Day 261

Sleep: bed at 10, up at 5

Food: clean but minimal. Work was crazy and I had to leave early so I only had breakfast and snacks like I usually do.

Woke up to do the 530am class because I knew I wouldnt want to workout this afternoon.
21 PC @ 105#
60 cal on the AD
15 PC @ 115#
45 cal on the AD
9 PC @ 125#
200m run instead of AD just because I hate that damn thing

The power cleans were heeeeavy. Those last 9 were hell. Everyone else was finished and friggen stretching but I knew going in that would happen. Yadi and I were the only ones who attempted RX...and I have to rant: One girl said after the workout "that wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been!" and luckily the guy next to me was like "it's a totally different story if you did the prescribed weight though!" I think she was pulling like 75lbs at most. Duh, of course it wasn't that bad for you! And thanks for making me feel like shit as I am lying there in a pool of sweat, totally spent. Ugh, some people!

The 5:30 am crew is nice but I felt like a goddamn amazon in that class lol

Tomorrow is a new day! :-)

Hmmmm....(Thursday 10/11)

Well I will try to keep this one short. "Try" is the operative word here. ;)

I woke this morning very cranky and pissed off. I was looking forward to the wod but my mood did not project that. So no I don't have my poms poms on today.
Today's Wod was very Donkey Kong. I felt and still feel that I could do it but towards the end it just didn't work out that way. I decided not to run. I know by experience that running isn't my something i could do easily so I don't force the issue. It's a no brainer to row. Ryan suggested I do the Air Dyne because rowing would be too taxing on the back with this kind of wod.

21 power cleans @ 105#
800 meter run / modified to Air Dyne 65 Calories
15 power cleans @ 115#
600 meter run - modified to  Air Dyne 45 Calories
9 power cleans @ 125# Once then stripped off weight and flew through with 95#
400 meter run - modified to Air Dyne 35 Calories
By my last round I always had the bar at practically neck level but I just couldn't finish the move. I was so unbelievably pissed at myself that I almost started to cry. Yeah that right I said cry. This bitch faced girl wears her emotions on her sleeves and yes I too am pink and soft inside.

 I'm not always very hard on myself. With time, age and experience I've learned that I should just let things go and move on. But this one really tugged on a nerve today.I wanted to complete it as Rx weight. It's something I knew I can do. The trick was getting through 45 heavy power cleans before the end of class. Sounds absurd doesn't it? But we are all front and center to do it.
As I'm eating breakfast  and drinking my coffee earlier this morning I kinda figured out that I'm hard on myself with this particular thing because I know I'm good at it. I'm not an expert at it but I  know I'm good at it. It's the "thing" that clicked for me. For others its running, crossfit, skiing, coaching, etc. You name it everyone could be good at many things. But everyone has that one thing that brings you joy and confidence. It picks your head up even higher and makes you feel like an absolute badass, in your own head at least ;-)
For once in my life if someone where to ask what do you do athletically. I proudly say I'm an Olympic Lifter and a not too shabby Crossfitter ;-)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Amanda M...Day 260

Sleep: passed the fuuuck out, 10:30-6:20

Food: clean clean clean. No cravings today, thank god. I don't think I'd be able to fight another day as well as I did yesterday

8 min on the clock:
6 min row: 1420m...was shooting for 1500...close enough
Pushup-less burpees: didn't count, but not too many. I was dead from the row

2 min AD
2 min DU: switched back and forth between singles and doubles

5 T2B
100m row
Didn't count the rounds, but did really well. Felt really strong, especially on the runs. Thank god! Haven't run all week and I have a 5k on Saturday. My knees didn't bother me so that's really good.

Really hoping to stay motivated even when this whole Lurong and YLA thing is over. I see people who have lost like 70lbs in a summer and here I am struggling for 2 years to lose the last 25-30lbs to get to my 'goal weight'. I really need to just fucking do it! I'm tired of fighting to lose, I just want to get to the point where I just have to maintain.

Hulk Smash!!! Tues 10/9 & Wed 10/10

Good Morning Everyone!!

Today is a sleepy day. Perfect to stay in bed with my triple x sweatpants and sweatshirt with the remote on my belly and my thumb is the only thing needed to change the channel. BUT I'm at work so I'll deal ;-)

Anyway last night as I probably mentioned briefly I went for a last minute Oly session. I didn't wod in the morning so I decided to pick things up and put them down after work. It was a great night overall. All practice work with an epic PR at the end of the night.

Snatch balance work 20 reps worked up to PR at 80#
Which doesn't seem like alot to many but huge for me. My balance was my one of my biggest problem with the snatch.
Snatch off the blocks (starting at the knees) up to kept it light worked up to 60#

Clean and Jerk work 20 reps worked up to 100# till my shoulders started to burn out on me.

THEN, THEN Valentine just wanted me to finish off the night with a front squats. He asked what my usual PR was and I told him I always fail at 135#. So we started with a 5 rep count then 4, 3,2,1. The last one being my PR resepectively. Long story short I must have gotten my second wind because he couldn't let me go. Every time he had me add more weight I smashed it. Finally he said ok, ok one more, one more. Its already 8pm I've been there for 2 and half hours and I still feel good!
155 POUNDS BOOM!! BELOW PARRALLELEAT IT!! Pushed up slow and exploded up!! I honestly think I could have gone 160 but I won't push it...yet (teehee).

So happy with my progress. Only great things to come.

This morning was just ok. It was a Cardio morning which was ok with me being that I gave my joints a beating last night. In my head I just did ok.

8 minutes on the clock
6 minute row for max meters -1232Meters
amrap - no push up burpee- 32 Total
-rest 4 minutes-
8 minutes on the clock
5 minute AD for max calories - 62 Calories
amrap double unders - I did singles 132 total (Sorry Jay I have no patience for DU's)
-rest 4 minutes-
8 minutes on the clock
5 T2B - Boooo! Knees barely to my torso
100m run
12 rounds

Overall feeling good. I will finish out the week with my a.m. wods and rest for the weekend! Hope to see some familar faces at the Beast as a spectator!!

Smooches!!  xoxoxoxoxox

Amanda M...Day 259

Slept okay, been waking up really tired lately. And then I stay tired throughout the day. Not sure if I'm not getting enough quality sleep or what.

Food: clean all day. At around 2:00, the craving for chocolate REALLY hit me. We keep a bowl of candy (twix, kit kat, milky way, snickers, 100 grand, reese's) in our office upstairs. Just knowing it is there makes my life a living hell lol normally I would be snacking on it all day. It took me a half hour to convince myself not to take a piece. I ended up taking a bathroom break just to get sad is that?!

Single leg RDL: 45# bar
Hang PC 115/135/145/155...155# is my PR and it went up smooth and easy on the first try. I should have thrown the 5lb-ers back on and went for a new PR. I knew I would have gotten it! Still kicking myself over that....ugh
Push press 95/85/85/85. We started out at 95 but it was a bit heavy for 4 rounds
Tabata push ups: really Jay? RUDE!!

After the workout, I did two 500m row with a 2 min rest between. I dont like when I dont sweat during a workout, it makes me feel like I didnt do I added the rowing.

Overall, a good day. Knees are feeling better. Really happy that there are no squats today so that gives me another day off my babies.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Everything for a Reason...

First I just wanted to say HELLO to Nitro and his awesome and well needed posts.

It was brought up, is it strange that your jealous because someone was let go of there job? I responded with a resounding no. It's not strange at all. You see most people are miserable at there jobs and I'm one of them. People are quick to say, "so change it!" Well I did! About 3 to 4 times in the last year alone! Don't get me wrong first and foremost I am very blessed that I can land a job so quickly sometimes BUT its always a double edge sword. Every situation I was placed in or rather put myself in has been so unsatifying and depressing that you're just at a loss for words. In fact in one job I was attacked in the basement by a fellow employee.
 My current job is psychotic on every level and the owner will not pay me on the salary that was agreed upon. Hey, I can't just walk out and say eff it....Not just yet. My mom is my dependant and I'm basically head of household. So my moves have to be thought out a bit.
The point is what's my next move? It's amazing that Nitro posted this last night because I was just sitting reading something yet at the same time thinking about what the hell am I going to do to shake things up. I want so desparately to ignite my life. Nitro's post was inspiring and heartfelt.
I have to think hard and just make something happen. I know for a fact that this isnt it for me, there is something more to this crazy life and I have to be the one to make it happen.

No wod this morning. I was sleeping so hard and heavily that I barely remember touching my phone to shut off the first alarm. I haven't felt or slept like that in quite some time. I scraped up a little cash and I'll be doing an Oly session tonight with Valentine.

Happy Tuesday!