Well I will try to keep this one short. "Try" is the operative word here. ;)
I woke this morning very cranky and pissed off. I was looking forward to the wod but my mood did not project that. So no I don't have my poms poms on today.
Today's Wod was very Donkey Kong. I felt and still feel that I could do it but towards the end it just didn't work out that way. I decided not to run. I know by experience that running isn't my something i could do easily so I don't force the issue. It's a no brainer to row. Ryan suggested I do the Air Dyne because rowing would be too taxing on the back with this kind of wod.
21 power cleans @ 105#
800 meter run / modified to Air Dyne 65 Calories
15 power cleans @ 115#
600 meter run - modified to Air Dyne 45 Calories
9 power cleans @ 125# Once then stripped off weight and flew through with 95#
400 meter run - modified to Air Dyne 35 Calories
By my last round I always had the bar at practically neck level but I just couldn't finish the move. I was so unbelievably pissed at myself that I almost started to cry. Yeah that right I said cry. This bitch faced girl wears her emotions on her sleeves and yes I too am pink and soft inside.
I'm not always very hard on myself. With time, age and experience I've learned that I should just let things go and move on. But this one really tugged on a nerve today.I wanted to complete it as Rx weight. It's something I knew I can do. The trick was getting through 45 heavy power cleans before the end of class. Sounds absurd doesn't it? But we are all front and center to do it.
As I'm eating breakfast and drinking my coffee earlier this morning I kinda figured out that I'm hard on myself with this particular thing because I know I'm good at it. I'm not an expert at it but I know I'm good at it. It's the "thing" that clicked for me. For others its running, crossfit, skiing, coaching, etc. You name it everyone could be good at many things. But everyone has that one thing that brings you joy and confidence. It picks your head up even higher and makes you feel like an absolute badass, in your own head at least ;-)
For once in my life if someone where to ask what do you do athletically. I proudly say I'm an Olympic Lifter and a not too shabby Crossfitter ;-)