Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Silence after the Storm...

What can I say that hasn't been said before...

It's a mess. Bridgeport as a city is totally down. No power and its a mess. I don't expect power for at least a week or more. This experience is quite humbling. I never lived beyond my means. But this gets you down to brass tax with no electricity. It's only been a couple of days and it's challenging to say the least. We didn't have a lot of food in the fridge so that's a bonus. But once we get done with what we have that's it. We will have to get creative and get food day to day and cook it the same day.

I'm doing a lot of sketching, thinking and knitting. I don't particularly care for the thinking part but that's what happens when you don't have that white noise anymore, well at least for the time being.

I'm just happy everyone is safe right now. I'm still scared of the traffic situation with no lights. People tend to forget (or not care) that there are rules to follow even though you don't have a traffic lights.
On top of that we need to get our asses back home before dark. Yeah it sounds crazy but I will be the first to admit that should this blackout last too long it only makes the natives restless and bad things happen. Yes I was born and raised in Bridgeport and have lived through the worst period of Bpt from the mid 80's well into the early 90's. But I still no better to get my fat ass and family back home, lock the doors and keep your head on a swivel.
The mayor knew what he was doing when he called in the national guard. It's no fucking joke in the port if given the proper set up i.e. a blackout.

Anyway, with all of this thinking I've decided I give programming one more try. I admit that I haven't been giving it 100%. It had nothing to do with Jay. He is a programming genius to me. It has all to do with me, myself and I. Nothing more. I have to get my priorities straight if I plan to do this right! So with this final try I will give 100% and be what I KNOW I should be. Nothing more nothing less.


Monday, October 29, 2012

Amanda M..Da7 276, 277, 278 and 279

Fri-Today (Monday)

Took the weekend off to celebrate Halloween. People LOVED my costume...probably one of my best yet. I drank alot and ate alot. Fuck it!

Diet has been out the window. Been using Sandy as an excuse...not a very good one but hey, shit happens.

My house is in the middle of it all. Not sure what I will be coming back to in a few days so I'm not too excited about it.

Will update more tomorrow....if we have power!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Amanda M...Day 275

What a day. Work was busy and then I came home to find a wig for my costume that looked NOTHING like the picture and totally threw my idea of being Paula Deen right ou the window. I was so excited to talk about butter in a drunken stupor all of Saturday night. Thanks alot ebay! You asshole!

So after work, I was in a frenzy. I went to goodwill, the halloween super store, savers, Walmart in west haven, walmart in Milford and Joann Fabrics. Naturally, my new costume idea didn't come to me until Walmart in West Haven...which only had the brown sweatshirt that I needed and not the pants. The Walmart in Milford had the pants I needed but not the sweatshirt! Go fuckin figure!!

So yeah, yesterdays workout was AMRAP Halloween shopping. I was actually quite miserable throughout most of it was like a crossfit workout anyways haha

What idea did I come up with you ask??

Yup...I'm dressing up as a bear and walking around with pieces of toilet paper stuck to my ass. Should be a good time. AND! when the bar bathrooms run out of toilet paper like they always do, I'll be the most popular girl in the room. I see free drinks in my future....

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Amanda M...Day 274

Another 8 hours of sleep. Felt great all day!

Food: Clean, no more pie :-( I did, however, eat a paleo cake in a mug. It had honey in not Lurong approved. How 1 tbsp of honey is a cheat is kind of ridiculous, but whatever!

20 minutes of hell
20 thrusters @ 75#--really REALLY struggled with these. I need to stop letting my ego get in the way of stripping weight off the bar. I should have stuck with 65 or something
20 pull ups--did jumping pullups. When it's shorter reps, I usually do negatives and I'll feel it the next day. But for 20, I just knocked them out...doesnt feel affective though.
200m row--did this instead of air dyne, instead of DUs. I can do DUs but not enough for me to get winded from it. I always trip up right before it starts getting intense.

The workout was rough. It's amazing how you can completely murder a workout one day...and then get annihilated by one the next. I wanted to cry...performance was shit. But, I slept it off. Today is a new day...

Also thinking of getting programmed by Jay. I mean, full blown programming. Not just a few running workouts in the am to supplement me doing classes at night. I need him to turn me into the athlete I know that is hiding inside me somewhere because its obvious that I'm not bringing it out on my own.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Amanda M...Day 273

Been getting to bed by 10 the latest and waking up for 6:30...8 hours of sleep feels FANTASTIC. Plus, I am fighting off a cold or something so the extra sleep is helping. My boyfriend stayed the weekend and he had a pretty awful cold. So far, all I have is a nasty cough so I think I made it *knock on wood* I'll take a cough over a runny/stuffy nose any day.

Food: Clean all day...then finished off the pie I bought this weekend. I love baked goods. I should have never bought the damn thing! I knew I was going to annihilate it myself.

5 sets of a heavy single/PR hang power clean
CG bench press
Snatch Grip RDL
30 sec AD sprint

My PR for the HPC was 155lbs and the last time I tried it, it went up easy so I knew I was going to PR last night...I just didnt know it would be by 15lbs! I was going to shoot for 160 and be satisfied if I got it but it was a big class and there were no 2.5lbs anywhere in sight. So I went with 165...missed the first, but got it the second time. This is when Jay came over...told me it went up too easy and to put 5 more lbs on. You don't say no to just doesnt happen! So I borrowed someone's 2.5lbs and tried it...failed. It didnt help that Jay was crouched on the ground with his camera, ready to take a picture. I had stage fright lol I went again...failed. Jay gave me a few words of wisdom. Failed. He said what he had to say and then walked away--I think he thought I had enough. Fuck that, I was going to get it. Once he walked away, the pressure was off. I was on my own. Bar went up and I cleaned it with ease....just to turn around and see Jay, all the coaches, and half of the class watching me do it haha dammit! I dont like an audience. But it fuckin happened! And I was so excited.

It was a great day...a much needed moment of glory.

Yadi name dropped me with her oly coach Gary Valentine and got me the hook up!! I will be workin out with them both next Tuesday. Maybe I can PR again! So excited :-) Jay told me I could easily get 200lbs...let's see if I can prove him right by the end of the year.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Amanda M...Day 272

Didnt sleep long enough. But thats normal these days

Food: I had some chocolate and some pie. Screw it. I am trying to stay positive about this lurong thing but do they expect us normal folk to stay motivated when they throw these retardedly ridiculous workouts at us. Even the scaled versions are nearly impossible. Can we please get the fuck away from body weight movements--pullups, dips, etc? And just do at least ONE wod that has heavy lifting? So unfair...

WOD: Skipped the gym. It was just too nice out so I went for a run instead. I did 4.1 miles...ran and walked. It was nice and relaxing.

Hang power cleans tomorrow. Kinda excited...I need a workout that I know I will do well with. I need an uplift right now.

The Experience...10/21 & 10/22

So the weekend...yeah...ummm where do I start. It was intense. At first thought I remember Jay using his Jedi mind trick and convincing us to do the Garage Games.
He said, "just have fun, do it for fun" he says.
I say, "ok" just knodding my head like the goof that I am.
I can't say no to the man! Damn you!!!

Anyway, I knew what to expect in terms of the levels of badassery that was going to be there. I volunteered last year so I knew this was going to be something completely different when you're actually in it.

Saturday was a complete bust for me. Wod one was the overhead squat which I could have done better with. I can squat 95# but I got only as far as 75#. The trick with me is I have to gradually build meaning I had to do the 85# before the big jump to 95#. But because we couldn't back track without doing the burpee penalty I just said screw it. I'll will try it the 95# straight out. So that was a bit of a fail for me. Wod #2 was a two mile run. I was already not feeling it but I knew it had to be done and I was determined to get it done no matter if it took me beyond the 20 minute cap. 3-2-1 GO! I went, I was running, good pace, then all of a sudden BAM! heal spur made its appearance and stabbed me right in my heal. I stopped and dropped right on the ground. I hobbled over to where the judges were standing and yeah I was crying like a baby, not because I was in pain but because I failed my team, my foot failed me and so far my ego was in the shits. Here are the Garage Games, athletes are duking it out and giving it all they had and here I am the fat chick who isn't even sweating because my effort level so far has been a 5 out of 10!

Wod #3 Pure Pharma. I felt like I could redeem myself and my team with this one. Mostly lifts, Power Snatch, shoulder to over head, Cleans then box jumps and burpee plate jumps. The strategy was good. Kim would do most of the reps when it came to box jumps and burpees and I would take all the reps on the lifts. And that worked out and it worked out well. Day one down, and as I drove home I still wasn't happy with the day overall. I felt small, I definatley didn't feel like an athlete and I beat myself up mentally for the rest of the night. I kept telling myself, "why am I Crossfitting?" "I'm quitting CF, fuck it." "I'm no good, I can't keep up with these people, and why the fuck am I in this competition!" "Who do I think I am!" I actually thought why even do the 2nd day, I just might mess that up as well. But I couldn't do that to my team.
The crazy thing is. I'm not a competitive person, I'm really not. I don't brag or boast. If anything I sell myself short for almost everything in life. So what I was feeling was just complete failure on my end. I am my worst critique no matter what I do.

Sunday, I came in head hanging low. But as soon as I walked in I had a bunch of the CFM fam come up to me and told me that I could do it. So I knew I had to change gears mentally. I went outside, took a deep breath and decided I'm going to slay this shit and go to crazy town on it.
Wod #4 The Air Dyne. He should have called it Air Dyne Death. It was nasty. 16 total minutes for the whole team. 8 min for the girls and 8min for the guys. The ongoing strategy was balls out @ 100% for 30seconds. If there's one thing I remember in my fitness journey that started 4 years ago is. You can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds!! Kim and I started up and that's what we did. 30 seconds at a clip 100% effort. Thighs were on fire and completely out of breath. Thank goodness 8min were up. I murdered that shit! That's right then I hobbled away because my quads were contracted for the next 15minutes...oye vey that was painful!!!

Now the hardest part was waiting for at least 2 hours to get our last and final Wod in. Yup that Wod was Fran. Oh man...what nasty thing can I say about Fran that hasn't been said by others. I've only experienced Fran one other time early in my CF days but I was well aware of the mental and physical damage she can give someone. I knew I would be scaled for pullups but scaled for thrusters was 45#. 45#'s really?? I tried it out in the warm up area and the bar was flying.'s the moment of truth folks. Here is where you have a straight up conversation in your head with yourself and you say do you go easy OR do you challenge yourself and walk away like you broke somebodies back and felt great about it. Minutes before our heat was called I just said hey I'll do Rx weight which was only 65# and obviously scale the pullups. Here we go, show time.
The guys went first since they are faster and they can do legit pullups. They did awesome they were fighting hard but wow they pulled through. Now the moment of truth, I was amped ready to go. Can I do it, will I fail. No time to think about that right now. My mom, bro, CFM members were all behind me cheering me on. Fight or Flight...It's time to Fight!

I hate thrusters but I was crushing them. I did 18 in a row, my shoulders were smoked I threw the bar down took about 5 deep breaths picked it back up and did the final 3 to complete 21. I went to the bar to do jumping pullups. Not as easy as they look because they have to be fast and on top of that I didn't have enough plates so I had to jump extra hard to get my chin over that damn bar. Did my 21 and back to the bar to do 15 thrusters. Now everything changed. Suddenly I get into this different world. I know I'm tired and I know I can't quit. There is so much happening around me but it's kinda fading away, no I'm not going to pass out. This was some real shit happening. I can still hear people screaming my name, Katie to my right coaching me and telling to push, my brother just a few feet behind me yelling my name, my team mates are right in my face telling me to go, go, go!!! But everything I see and hear is almost muted. I pick up the bar and start my 15, they were broken maybe clusters of 3 to 4 but they felt good. They weren't sloppy, my squats were deep, my overhead was tall and powerful. I just felt like I was outta of air but somehow someway I was still going and pushing. Next thing I did my jumping pullups and finally my last nine thrusters. The clock was ticking down. I think I had less than 90sec on the clock I think. I said to myself I have to as least complete these thrusters. So I pushed out five, dropped the bar then 6, 7, and....8. Times up. I stumble over to the plates to sit. I cried a little for a few seconds. Then suddenly, I didn't see any faces but all I heard and felt were hugs, kisses and cheers from everyone around me. It was a fucking Rudy moment.
I did it. I may have not completely finished fran but I did it. I pushed hard and left everything on the floor and then some.

Now I'm content, redemption is sweet. No matter what anyone says, I had to prove to myself that I belong. I may not have been chisled with muscles and a super athlete but I can hang. I can do what I do best.
Now will I do that again next year??
Hell fucking NO!
No really, I don't know. It depends what path I'm on at that point. If I'm a better CF athlete maybe, maybe not.
Now I have to get back to my true love Oly Lifting.


Amanda M...Day 269, 270 & 271

Friday: I skipped the gym because, well...there was no 530 pm class and the workout wasn't interesting enough for me to want to wake up for the 530am class lol just being honest! Ate well, went to bed early since I was going to be at the garage games all day.

Saturday: Wow...the garage games are no joke!! I was exhausted, and all I did was judge!! I wasn't expecting to judge and I really didn't want to but I was needed so I stepped up. I had to judge the damn 3rd WOD. I never knew how hard it was to keep count while checking form...and while being asked by 3 of the team members how many reps their teammate had left. Listen, I'm counting up and you're asking me to subtract that in my head from the total amount, while still counting the guy doing the work...shut up and listen to me yelling! And by yelling, I mean my voice was completely shot by the end of the day.

Second rant: These people were no newbies, they knew how to do a movement and how to do it correctly. One or two slipups--thats fine. But there was one guy who I yelled at to correct his form (stand all the way the f*ck up when you're doing sholder to overhead!!!) at least 5 times...and he was also no repped by Jay AND Colin...yet he still continued to do it wrong. I felt like an ass cause Colin had to no rep him when he was watching me judge (I had completely given up on correcting him at that point)--I was ready to just disqualify the group lol I wish I had some CFMers come to me, I knew they would have been flawless

Sunday: I decided not to judge cause I need a day to myself, it's just how I operate. We went to Silverman's farm, fed some animals, got some apple raspberry pie (OUT OF THIS WORLD AMAZING!!) and I read a book while the bf watched some football. Was a nice relaxing day!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday 10/19

It's a quick and dirty one today. Just the way I like it!

No woding for me since Wednesday. That's ok because I'm going to f*cking murder Garage Games Saturday and Sunday (Positive thoughts here people, work with me I'm scared to death).
Five wods in two days? I think I'll fulfill my wod quota for the week!!

I called out of work today to chill and get my food ready for the next two days AND I have an interview later this afternoon. All of it well worth it I think.

A little worried about Wod two with the friggin 2 mile run. Thanks Jay! NOT!! I'll definitely be the last effin one to get back ;-P
I will post Sunday night about my whole experience. I think it will be interesting no matter if it turns out good or bad. But mostly I feel nervous about it but I truly and deeply believe we will ALL surprise ourselves on our performance during the games. The energy alone brings your performance to another level.



Thursday, October 18, 2012

Amanda M...Day 268

Food was good today. Didnt eat dinner. I came home from the workout and downed a protein shake and a banana. Does that count for dinner? Sure..

Lurong challenge. 7 minutes of deadlifts @ 105# and HR pushups. 1+1, 2+2, 3+3, etc etc. I got in 10 rounds and 4 deadlifts. 114 total reps

Then I did the performance WOD: of 1 1/4 squats sec on the AD

Wasn't too horrible.

Skipping out on jersey shore and going to bed. I'm too old for this shit lol

Amanda M...Day 267

Slept from 1015-630...I love getting a full nights sleep. I get so cranky when I know I am going to bed late. I dont know how my friends can manage going to bed at midnight and waking up for work everyday.

Food: Added another egg in for breakfast and felt much better throughout the day. Also brought a bigger portion of my spaghetti squash and meatballs. I was really fully...a feeling I haven't felt in a while lol

4 rds-
800m ROW
25 push press 55#
25 K2E

Yeah, I rowed. Sue me. If I ran instead, I would have been there all night. I HATE finishing last when it comes to running workouts. Heavy power clean workouts like last week? Fine, I don't care because my ass is lifting 2x as much as the other women. Running? No...I'm still embarrassed by it. So I rowed. Besides, I've been running in the morning and would rather save my legs for that.

Weighed myself this morning. I really need to stop doing that. Seeing that scale number makes me really not want to eat. I battled with slight anorexia. (I feel like one of those fat guys wearing those "I beat anorexia" t-shirts when I say that because I'm no where near looking anorexic) I would have a glass of milk and half of a tuna sandwich..........and that's all I would eat all day. Sometimes I would just eat the tuna out of the can without bread. If I ate something I wasn't supposed to, I'd add in an extra hour of cardio. If I added extra workouts without eating more, I'd allow myself a watered down gatorade just to keep me going. It was bad...I looked fabulous...but it was bad. Every once in a while I get tempted to go down that road again but I know there would be no way I could survive a CF workout doing that shit. Oh, and because its unhealthy apparently..........

Ughhhhhhhhh. My body needs to stop being a dick and just do what I want.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wednesday 10/17

Good Morning Everybody!

All is well in the land of Yadi.

My alarm went off this morning at 4:45 & 5:00 (back up alarm) and guess what I didn't get up to wod. I was extremely tired. Last night (Tuesday 10/16) I went straight to an Oly session, got there about 7pm, changed and started warming up around 7:15pm or so. I didn't leave till 9:30 and didnt get home till after 10pm. LONG day and night. Unfortunately I ate a late dinner. I don't like eating that late but I had no choice and by the time I showered, digested, caught up with mom and stuff I probably didn't fall asleep till Midnight-ish.
Besides 4 rounds of an 800 meter run this morning wasn't going to happen anyway, sorry Jay. Gotta save the knees for this weekends Garage Games.

Last nights Oly session went extremely well. I wasn't in the mood to go because I was just tired from work but I knew I needed and had to go. He had me focus on my Clean and Jerks for the whole session. And I did GREAT! I got 20 out of 20 successful lifts and each one better and better as I went on. Once I got to number 12 or 13 my form was so on point for the Clean that the bar was practically flying past my face with each weight increase. The Jerk portion of it was good but it could be better. Successfully made all my Jerks but I could have gone even deeper with my split. But everything felt great. I think Coach Gary mentioned next time we do C&J we are going to with some more weight. He's very confident that I can handle an increase here and there. No big jumps of course. My next session next week will be all Snatches. Ugghh its my weak lift but its what I have to concentrate on. ;-) I have to give it to Jay he was soooo right when he said I found my thing. I really love this stuff!

A little stressed out with work but I'm trying very hard not to let it consume me. You know the saying "take it day by day"? Well here at this place its "hour by hour". It's that intense, and trust me I'm not even exaggerating about this. I'm girl number 6 in the that office, yes that's right 5 other women have outright quit and 4 other GM's before that. So that should give you an idea of what a circus it is in there. It's ok though I've submitted my resume to so many places in the past 2 days at least ONE person hopefully should call.
It will work out for me. I always make it happen one way or another ;-)

Well off to work, then I gotta get my head shaved later this evening! Haha!

Laters!!! xoxoxox

Amanda M...Day 266

Yesterday: Went to bed at 9:15 and woke up at 5 to go running. Man, I really needed all that sleep. It felt amazing

Food: Normally, I eat sweet italian sausage with 3 eggs over easy for breakfast. Yesterday, I switched to turkey sausage and just 2 eggs. It is CRAZY how just a little tweak in the diet can totally fuck up your day lol The crossfit WOD took everything I had...I felt like I was going to pass out.

4 rounds of:

8-10 DL 115#
15-20 CG bench 65#
15-30 KB swings 55#
Dip hold as long as possible--(I did 1 round, and skipped the next 3. I feel absolutely nothing doing I doing something wrong?)
40 sec row for watts: 433/396/376/3-something. I couldnt even finish the last round. I was completely smoked.

4 rds of 800m runs today? Soooooooooooooo not excited..................

Monday, October 15, 2012

Amanda M...Day 265

Holy balls, only 100 days left. I can't believe how fast this year has gone!

Sleep: Didn't go to bed til 11, way too late. I really wanted to wake up and run but it didn't happen. I was so tired.

Food: back to being 100% clean. Have a bit of a headache, but it will pass.

FFESS: elevated split squats...not my favorite. They feel so awkward to me

8 min amrap:
Ascending squat clean thrusters
2 pull ups

Got in almost 8 rounds. I was being careful with the squats because of my knee and it was feeling good so I am happy about that.

Then I came home and the roommate and I did a yoga session. It felt relaxing! Definitely want to get more into it.

Monday 10/15...WTF

Good Morning Everyone,

Today is Monday and it's as intense as I thought it was going to be. It's funny because I truly do have a gut instinct. I've had as far as I can remember. Not to sound hokey or anything but I can truly sense certain things. Its just that I'm more in tune to what's around me. I can see and feel out things that other people would completely miss. Today the new General Manager who was only here for about a month or so was fired this morning. I knew that wasn't going to last long. The owner is a super Alpha and he's crazy as hell. And I only have a job right now because I'm the only capable person left in the office. Technically I should be fired because I made a typo on one of the events for this weekend. So the owner sparing me right now. I'm super stressed out. Now that the GM is gone everything falls on me.

This morning I went in for my Wod and I did ok. I wasnt 100% on it. I think I was chillin a little bit too hard this weekend and did absolutely nothing. So my joints were screaming at me and my flexibility was hardly there.

I have nothing else to say. It's one of those days...ready to cry. Just holding it together. :-/

Amanda M... Day 262, 263 & 264

Friday: I took a rest day because I was going to be running the next day. Sprint workout? No thanks on a normal day...but a special hell-fucking-no on the day before a race...

Sat: Hartford 5k!! Had a blast. I really hate myself for signing up for a 5k all the way up until it is over. Then I'm like, fuck yeah! Running! They gave us free bagels and there were tons of vendors handing out free samples so I enjoyed myself and ate some.

Sun: Lots of running store, ikea, grocery shopping, back to apple store (phone is finally fixed--woo!), then home to relax.

Lots of squats today...not sure if I will go to the box or go running instead. Knees are still on the fritz but they feel okay when I run. Squats...not so much...

Friday, October 12, 2012

Friday 10/12

I took today as a rest day. I thought it was a good day to do so because the wod was sprint running. And we all know how sprint running isn't even in my vocabulary and the Air Dyne...well lets just say I have a hate/hate relationship with that thing.
I start work at Noon today so it was nice to sleep late. Keep in mind sleeping late for me is till 8am at the latest, I just naturally wake up between 8 sometimes 9 if I'm lucky.

My body is a bit stiff a little sore, but nothing major.
Right now my mind is racing and I am desperate to change jobs. Yes, yes I know again. But if you guys knew from the inside how unstable and just crazy this industry is it would blow your mind. If you do ever find a legit, stable place in the food industry it would definitely be like winning the grand prize. It just doesn't happen very much.

Off to work! Positive mindset, "Today will be an awesome day at work!"

Have a good day and weekend everyone! Have fun, tell dirty jokes, laugh a lot, eat great food!!


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Amanda M...Day 261

Sleep: bed at 10, up at 5

Food: clean but minimal. Work was crazy and I had to leave early so I only had breakfast and snacks like I usually do.

Woke up to do the 530am class because I knew I wouldnt want to workout this afternoon.
21 PC @ 105#
60 cal on the AD
15 PC @ 115#
45 cal on the AD
9 PC @ 125#
200m run instead of AD just because I hate that damn thing

The power cleans were heeeeavy. Those last 9 were hell. Everyone else was finished and friggen stretching but I knew going in that would happen. Yadi and I were the only ones who attempted RX...and I have to rant: One girl said after the workout "that wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been!" and luckily the guy next to me was like "it's a totally different story if you did the prescribed weight though!" I think she was pulling like 75lbs at most. Duh, of course it wasn't that bad for you! And thanks for making me feel like shit as I am lying there in a pool of sweat, totally spent. Ugh, some people!

The 5:30 am crew is nice but I felt like a goddamn amazon in that class lol

Tomorrow is a new day! :-)

Hmmmm....(Thursday 10/11)

Well I will try to keep this one short. "Try" is the operative word here. ;)

I woke this morning very cranky and pissed off. I was looking forward to the wod but my mood did not project that. So no I don't have my poms poms on today.
Today's Wod was very Donkey Kong. I felt and still feel that I could do it but towards the end it just didn't work out that way. I decided not to run. I know by experience that running isn't my something i could do easily so I don't force the issue. It's a no brainer to row. Ryan suggested I do the Air Dyne because rowing would be too taxing on the back with this kind of wod.

21 power cleans @ 105#
800 meter run / modified to Air Dyne 65 Calories
15 power cleans @ 115#
600 meter run - modified to  Air Dyne 45 Calories
9 power cleans @ 125# Once then stripped off weight and flew through with 95#
400 meter run - modified to Air Dyne 35 Calories
By my last round I always had the bar at practically neck level but I just couldn't finish the move. I was so unbelievably pissed at myself that I almost started to cry. Yeah that right I said cry. This bitch faced girl wears her emotions on her sleeves and yes I too am pink and soft inside.

 I'm not always very hard on myself. With time, age and experience I've learned that I should just let things go and move on. But this one really tugged on a nerve today.I wanted to complete it as Rx weight. It's something I knew I can do. The trick was getting through 45 heavy power cleans before the end of class. Sounds absurd doesn't it? But we are all front and center to do it.
As I'm eating breakfast  and drinking my coffee earlier this morning I kinda figured out that I'm hard on myself with this particular thing because I know I'm good at it. I'm not an expert at it but I  know I'm good at it. It's the "thing" that clicked for me. For others its running, crossfit, skiing, coaching, etc. You name it everyone could be good at many things. But everyone has that one thing that brings you joy and confidence. It picks your head up even higher and makes you feel like an absolute badass, in your own head at least ;-)
For once in my life if someone where to ask what do you do athletically. I proudly say I'm an Olympic Lifter and a not too shabby Crossfitter ;-)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Amanda M...Day 260

Sleep: passed the fuuuck out, 10:30-6:20

Food: clean clean clean. No cravings today, thank god. I don't think I'd be able to fight another day as well as I did yesterday

8 min on the clock:
6 min row: 1420m...was shooting for 1500...close enough
Pushup-less burpees: didn't count, but not too many. I was dead from the row

2 min AD
2 min DU: switched back and forth between singles and doubles

5 T2B
100m row
Didn't count the rounds, but did really well. Felt really strong, especially on the runs. Thank god! Haven't run all week and I have a 5k on Saturday. My knees didn't bother me so that's really good.

Really hoping to stay motivated even when this whole Lurong and YLA thing is over. I see people who have lost like 70lbs in a summer and here I am struggling for 2 years to lose the last 25-30lbs to get to my 'goal weight'. I really need to just fucking do it! I'm tired of fighting to lose, I just want to get to the point where I just have to maintain.

Hulk Smash!!! Tues 10/9 & Wed 10/10

Good Morning Everyone!!

Today is a sleepy day. Perfect to stay in bed with my triple x sweatpants and sweatshirt with the remote on my belly and my thumb is the only thing needed to change the channel. BUT I'm at work so I'll deal ;-)

Anyway last night as I probably mentioned briefly I went for a last minute Oly session. I didn't wod in the morning so I decided to pick things up and put them down after work. It was a great night overall. All practice work with an epic PR at the end of the night.

Snatch balance work 20 reps worked up to PR at 80#
Which doesn't seem like alot to many but huge for me. My balance was my one of my biggest problem with the snatch.
Snatch off the blocks (starting at the knees) up to kept it light worked up to 60#

Clean and Jerk work 20 reps worked up to 100# till my shoulders started to burn out on me.

THEN, THEN Valentine just wanted me to finish off the night with a front squats. He asked what my usual PR was and I told him I always fail at 135#. So we started with a 5 rep count then 4, 3,2,1. The last one being my PR resepectively. Long story short I must have gotten my second wind because he couldn't let me go. Every time he had me add more weight I smashed it. Finally he said ok, ok one more, one more. Its already 8pm I've been there for 2 and half hours and I still feel good!
155 POUNDS BOOM!! BELOW PARRALLELEAT IT!! Pushed up slow and exploded up!! I honestly think I could have gone 160 but I won't push it...yet (teehee).

So happy with my progress. Only great things to come.

This morning was just ok. It was a Cardio morning which was ok with me being that I gave my joints a beating last night. In my head I just did ok.

8 minutes on the clock
6 minute row for max meters -1232Meters
amrap - no push up burpee- 32 Total
-rest 4 minutes-
8 minutes on the clock
5 minute AD for max calories - 62 Calories
amrap double unders - I did singles 132 total (Sorry Jay I have no patience for DU's)
-rest 4 minutes-
8 minutes on the clock
5 T2B - Boooo! Knees barely to my torso
100m run
12 rounds

Overall feeling good. I will finish out the week with my a.m. wods and rest for the weekend! Hope to see some familar faces at the Beast as a spectator!!

Smooches!!  xoxoxoxoxox

Amanda M...Day 259

Slept okay, been waking up really tired lately. And then I stay tired throughout the day. Not sure if I'm not getting enough quality sleep or what.

Food: clean all day. At around 2:00, the craving for chocolate REALLY hit me. We keep a bowl of candy (twix, kit kat, milky way, snickers, 100 grand, reese's) in our office upstairs. Just knowing it is there makes my life a living hell lol normally I would be snacking on it all day. It took me a half hour to convince myself not to take a piece. I ended up taking a bathroom break just to get sad is that?!

Single leg RDL: 45# bar
Hang PC 115/135/145/155...155# is my PR and it went up smooth and easy on the first try. I should have thrown the 5lb-ers back on and went for a new PR. I knew I would have gotten it! Still kicking myself over that....ugh
Push press 95/85/85/85. We started out at 95 but it was a bit heavy for 4 rounds
Tabata push ups: really Jay? RUDE!!

After the workout, I did two 500m row with a 2 min rest between. I dont like when I dont sweat during a workout, it makes me feel like I didnt do I added the rowing.

Overall, a good day. Knees are feeling better. Really happy that there are no squats today so that gives me another day off my babies.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Everything for a Reason...

First I just wanted to say HELLO to Nitro and his awesome and well needed posts.

It was brought up, is it strange that your jealous because someone was let go of there job? I responded with a resounding no. It's not strange at all. You see most people are miserable at there jobs and I'm one of them. People are quick to say, "so change it!" Well I did! About 3 to 4 times in the last year alone! Don't get me wrong first and foremost I am very blessed that I can land a job so quickly sometimes BUT its always a double edge sword. Every situation I was placed in or rather put myself in has been so unsatifying and depressing that you're just at a loss for words. In fact in one job I was attacked in the basement by a fellow employee.
 My current job is psychotic on every level and the owner will not pay me on the salary that was agreed upon. Hey, I can't just walk out and say eff it....Not just yet. My mom is my dependant and I'm basically head of household. So my moves have to be thought out a bit.
The point is what's my next move? It's amazing that Nitro posted this last night because I was just sitting reading something yet at the same time thinking about what the hell am I going to do to shake things up. I want so desparately to ignite my life. Nitro's post was inspiring and heartfelt.
I have to think hard and just make something happen. I know for a fact that this isnt it for me, there is something more to this crazy life and I have to be the one to make it happen.

No wod this morning. I was sleeping so hard and heavily that I barely remember touching my phone to shut off the first alarm. I haven't felt or slept like that in quite some time. I scraped up a little cash and I'll be doing an Oly session tonight with Valentine.

Happy Tuesday!


Amanda M...Day 258

Yesterday was...ehh.

Food and sleep were fine but I just couldnt work out. My knees are just screaming at me everytime I even get up from my chair. So I avoided the squat workout and took another day off. Sometimes you just have to listen to your body. Mine was telling me to go fuck

Will be back today though! Glad to see that there are no squats of any kind today. Since I cant run, I might throw in a long row afterwards. We shall see...

Just hit me last night that I will be jumping out of a plane in 2.5 weeks. Kinda really excited but terrified at the same time. I hope it's life changing...I could use a life changing moment these days. Is it sad that I'm jealous that Nitro got relieved from his job? I hate my job...its stressful, thankless, boring...and is making me blind--literally. I stare at 2 computer monitors for 40hrs a week....40 hours!!! I'm wasting my life! Would love to be a CF coach but I don't have $1000 to spare for the cert. I feel so stuck in my life right about now...

That's enough ranting for today. Better get started on the same shit I do everydayyyyy

Monday, October 8, 2012

Day 250something

Well its been quite a while.  First I want you girls to know how proud I am of all of you.  Just keep going!!!  All of us know how hard it's hard goddam work, day in and day out.  But you regroup, recharge and keep crushing and the end result is SOOO rewarding.  Very good job!!!  I have alot to talk about so this is probably going to be my longest entry on the blog to date.  Here goes...

My job and career had totally turned into a boat anchor during most of this year.  Wearing me down, uninteresting and just a pathetic grind.  I've been through quite alot over the last couple years and I had pretty much gotten myself to the point of being good EXCEPT for my job.  I would be miserable on the drive in everyday.  Didn't want to do it anymore...I mean bad...hated it.  My boss started giving me grief about being a few minutes late, didn't want me missing time or using personal days on "Cross training", his term for CrossFit.  It all finally came to a head last weekend when I competed at the Garage Games in Providence.  I knew my boss wasn't going to be happy with me taking another personal day for CrossFit, but it was time for me to get some Competition practice in.  Long story short his final email to me was that CrossFit became more important to me then my job...and to be perfectly honest he's right.  So I was "relieved" of my position.  THANK YOU!  I know this may sound weird or confusing or it just doesn't make sense but now I can finally start my life!!!  "It's about time".    Ok more on this another time.

The training has gotten crazy...or crazier.  How I'm progressing is definitely a process.  A process that is working that is for sure.  Jason certainly knows how to really push me to the limit.  And I have to go to the limit and beyond on most of these WODs.  Its the only way I can get better is to push harder and harder and harder and be better then yesterday.  The one thing I'm still struggling with is Muscle Ups.  Previous injuries and my heavy body weight are hindering me.  I do get better at them the more I practice but man I SUCK!  Have to talk about the Froning!  I was honored that Jason let me train with him and Rich.  Rich was a cool dude.  Told it to you straight, had some humor and he was very humble and respectful.  We actually talked college football since he's from the south and I absolutely love the south and Alabama...ROLL TIDE ROLL!  After the WOD we got on the topic of facebook but he told me not to bother with that he just gave me his personal info.  Said next time I'm down south let him know when I'm coming down and I can drop in and train with him.  HOW COOL IS THAT?!!  The WOD with Rich and Jason that day was 20 Sqaut Cleans @ 135#, 20 Pull Ups and 20 cals on the AD (20 Min AMRAP).  It was fucking awful.  A good awful but still just absolutely awful.  Just before the WOD while we were stretching we discussed the pacing and how to break up the squat cleans and Rich taught me a very valuable lesson which I implemented the following weekend at the Garage Games.  It definitely helped me get more reps.  This was also a great practice session for obvious reasons.  It was a tremendous day on many thankful for the opportunity!

Last weekend I did my second Comp of the year.  I did one back in Feburary but that was more of a Powerlifting Comp at CrossFit Relentless.  This time I went to CrossFit Providence for the Garage Games.  Ahhh old stomping ground.  I grew up about 10-15 minutes from there right over the border in Mass.  Spent alot of my late teens and early 20s in that city and loved it.  Turns out I played football with one of the owners so that was pretty awesome to catch up with him.  There were 6 WODs total and then a final WOD for the top 8 finishers.  I preformed well in 2 WODS, actually scoring better then the guy that ended up winning it.  I did average on 2 WODs.  Below average on 1 and I totally fucked up another WOD and didn't even get a score...what a mess!  I never quit though.  I knew my weekend was over after the 2nd WOD but I still needed the practice so I still tried my best until the final second of the 6th WOD.  So glad I hung in there.  Katie Steffens also competed with me and I'm sure by now you all know she finished 2nd overall in Women's RX.  She was just amazing.  Katie is one of the best female athlete's I've ever been around.  I'm so glad she goes to CFM, she's a beast and a great friend. 
Now this weekend I'm competing in the Beast of the East.  It should be awesome.  I started eating alot to pack on some extra pounds and I certainly did.  Need to be as strong as possible for this one.  Some of the best CrossFitters in the world will be there.  And the best part is I'm competing against Rob Orlando, the guy who turned me onto CrossFit almost 2 years ago.  And I haven't even told him...I'm just gonna show up and talk shit and we're gonna crack up.  This Comp is another great practice session.  I have to compete against athlete's that are better then me so I can get better.  This is why I miss Dan Leslie.  He is a good friend too but he made me a better athlete.  Dan is great and when you chase someone like that you get better.  I will catch his ass someday though! 

I want to remind everyone we're about 70% of the way through this assessment.  This is where you can create separation between finishing ok/complacent or killing it and working your ass off till the end and reaping all the benefits of your hard work.  Dan Loewenberg said in a blog post on the CFM page that "Hard work works"!  It couldn't be a more truer statement.  Good things come when you work hard...DO WORK!!!

P.S.  Maria how many HSPUs have you achieved?  Gosh it's gotta be nearly a 100 by now!  ;)

Happy Monday.

A Sunday night of drinking, 4 hours of sleep and a 5:30am Wod makes for a somewhat of a human not really contributing to society very well. I wasn't expecting to wake up suddenly before the alarm this morning but I just did. I don't know why that happens. To me being slightly toasted equals sleep right? Not nesessarily.
Anyway I did well with this mornings wod.

10 rounds for time
7 wall balls, 20/14#
7 pull ups
Total Time: 6:46

Could I have done slightly better? Absolutely!! But being drunk on the verge of a hangover and going faster equals disaster and vomit. And I don't know about anyone else, but I don't like to vomit. So under the circumstances I did awesome.

I feel pretty good lately but I'm pushing just because my laziness is setting in. Theres just somethng about this weather that makes me want to shut down and hibernate. The unfortunate thing about that is unlike a bear when it comes out of hibernation it looses all of its fat and comes out of its cave skinny. Of course that would be the COMPLETE opposite for me. ;-D No bueno!!

Ok folks, back to work. Stay Strong in body and mind!!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Amanda M...Day 256 & 257

This weekend was great. It was relaxing, I cleaned like a MANIAC, avoided really horrible foods. I even had the chance to go out and drink and dance my ass off but I declined because I knew that drinking leads to fast food binging afterwards.

No working out. My knees have really been bothering me so I didnt want to push it. I have the 5k next weekend and dont want to do any damage. It sucks that tomorrow is OHS and wall balls though, I hope it doesn't bother me too bad.

Off to bed! Goodnight all :-)

Oh, btw...down 12lbs so far!!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Maria 10/5/12

So I have not been to the gym since Tuesday.  I have been dealing with terrible insomnia all week where I wake up at exactly 3am every night and can't get back to sleep until- you guessed it-it is time to wake up.  It is totally hormonal and I go through this almost every month right before the monthly visit. Anyway, it interferes with workout schedule because on Wed, Thurs and Fri my only option to workout is 5:30am and I just could not get up for it.  Tonight at like 7:30p I got on my treadmill and did the running WOD I was supposed to do on Wednesday- it felt good to sweat again.  I need to workout for my mental health, I get so bitchy after a couple of days with no exercise!  Especially since in my new job I sit in a chair for 8 hours.  When I worked in the hospital I was constantly moving, and taking the stairs- it was a fast paced job.

Food has been good but struggling with portions as usual so not getting the results.  I am not going to make excuses; I hate excuses.

Amanda M...Day 255

Didn't go to bed til 1 am.......ughhh. I slept through my alarm and woke up in a panic at 7:45 when I have to be at work at 8. My supervisor doesn't care, but I HATE being late.

Food: I rushed out of the house so I missed breakfast. Everything else was normal, luckily I have all my lunches and snacks all set and ready on Sundays.

FS 3.2.1 95/115/135...all went up easy
1st pos squat cleans: 75#

5 min amrap
1-5 ladder front squat 105#

4 min amrap
1-3 ladder pull ups

3 min amrap
5.10.15 DU ladder

Something tweaked in my knee while doing the squats so I didn't get as much as I wanted, was trying to be really careful. Pull ups were pathetic, and DU weren't all that horrible. Took me a while to get into the swing of them, but I got 17 in a row...highest ever lol

Friday....let's get this over with!!

The wod this morning was cool. My knees and quads were stiff as hell. So instead squatting below parrallel I had to keep it parrallel for the wod.

5 minute amrap
1-5 front squat ladder 110#
-rest 0 sec.-
4 minute amrap
1-3 weighted mixed grip pull up ladder
(modified to ring rows)-rest 0 sec.
3 minute amrap
5-10-15 unbroken double under ladder
(modified to singles)

A couple of modifications had to be done with the pullups and du's. Which is the usual ring rows and singles.

Something that caught my attention ... (again). When we were doing skill work we had to do front squats. Ummm yeah NO ONE wanted to work with me. What gives??? So I shrugged it off and went 70% to 90% of my one RM. Fuck it!! I like to WORK and get it done. If that intimidates some people screw it. I truly have no interest in having a full blown conversation going on around me about how little bobby is doing in school and how little julie's new dress matches her ocean blue eyes. Yeah sorry don't give a f*ck!!
Yikes!! Sorry venting again.

Anyway had a great morning! A little sleepy but I'll wake up eventually. It's Friday. It's a good day.

Have fun everyone!! Laugh alot, Be Silly, Tell Dirty Jokes and flirt alot.

Amanda M...Day 254

Slept in til 640, no morning workout although I should have gone because I knew I wouldnt get up today to go.

Food was clean. Im getting SO bored with salads now that I can't put my beloved bleu or gorgonzola cheese on them. So I made up some shrimp and broccoli stuff. Being addicted to food network has it's benefits...tons of cooking tips.

5 Push Jerks @95#
12 sec rope slams

25 sec airdyne sprints

5 Push Jerks @95#
12 sec rope slams

Was a good workout. Blew through the first round but after those damn airdynes I was completely spent. As I look around at the other women, not a single one was bent over and dying like I was after the sprints. There are some moments when I get flashbacks of being at my other gym...the only girl who looks like a serious hot mess. What gives??

Doing the DU workout today...tried working on them last night but it wasn't looking too good. Going to do it before the workout so I have energy for it.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Wednesday 10/3 & Thursday 10/4

Wednesday started off with an awesome Wod in the a.m.:

500m row
-rest 90 seconds- (in the saddle)
500m row
-rest 10 minutes-
42 db power snatch @ 30# (alternating)
93 air squats
21 squat thrust chin ups
30 db power snatch
65 air squats
15 squat thrust chin ups
18 db power snatch
42 air squats
9 squat thrust chin ups

I was a little nervous going into it simply because I haven't woded like this in a very, very long time. But yet and still I felt confident going in. After it was all said and done I did well!! As a minor accomplishment as this will sound to many I was able to pull up just a couple of inches from the pull up bar. I was excited because I couldn't even do that much just 6 months ago! So BONUS!
The air squats were a bit brutal as the counts mounted up. My quads were on fire, loved it.
After I was done I just wanted to shower and go to bed I had no energy left. Unfortunately I had to go to work and deal with the high stress energy for the whole day. Mama slept like a baby by 9:30pm.

The wod actually gave me a little boost of confidence for the Garage Games. I still don't know why I signed up. I must be crazy. With all the lifting I've been doing I felt that what little endurance I did have has dissapeared.

Thursday: Rest day, I was thinking about going in but I just couldn't justify going in at 5:30am for mobility. YES, mobility is very important. But I just couldn't do.
No Oly training lately. I miss it, I'm financally on the broke side so I have to wait till I get some more cash coming in. Hope to do it Sunday.

Last wod for the week will be Friday! Lets see what the Mad Scientist will have for us!!

Reminders: Trinity College Oly Meet November 18th.
                    Masters Open in New Jersey. In April. Date has yet to be announced!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Amanda M...Day 253

Sleep: bed at 10:45 up at 5.

Food: clean clean clean!


Walk 1/4 mile
Run 1/2 mile
For 3 miles

500m row, rest 90 sec, 500m row. This was to test our recovery. Did really well. 1:57 and 1:55

Then we did a shit ton of DB snatches, squats and squat thruster chin ups. I could barely keep track of the numbers while I was doing it so its not gonna happen now either. But there was alot..alot alot

Gotta work on my DUs tomorrow because Fri is pretty much the last day I can do it. Gym will be all filled up this weekend

Tomorrow looks good too! Feelin' great...woo!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Amanda M...Day 252

Sleep: Went to bed at 9:30 and woke up at 630...solid 9 hours haha and I was STILL exhausted today. I was about to pass out on my desk, it was crazy

Food: Clean no cheats

4 rounds:
10 DLs: 95/105/115/125
Push ups
3-5 Hang power cleans: 5 each round- 95/105/115/125
FLR holds 60 sec

Colin told us to go heavy on the cleans and only try for 3 of them. I did 125# for 5...was feeling soo strong. Got my groove back! So excited and happy about it.

Then we did 4 rds of 20 sec row sprints. I tried to keep at a 1:30/500m pace and was able to stick to that for all the rounds.

Tomorrow's workout looks INSANE!!

Tuesday a New Day

Early morning Wod this morning went well. I actually had a partner which was nice. I usually don't because I have the perverbial "bitch face". I guess I don't smile enough or look too serious so many of the female members don't say much to me. I woded with Sue she was AWESOME! Loved her, she was ready for anything. I had to hold back on the deadlift weight just a little for her cause I was going Donkey Kong heavy with it.

A.1 DL, 4 x 10, rest 10 seconds

 A.2 Dips, 4 x 20, rest 30 seconds
20 second holds

A.3 Hang Power clean, 4 x 3, rest 10 sec.

A.4 FLR, 4 x 60-75 sec., rest 2 minutes
B. 20 sec. row sprint - rest 1:40 x 3-4

My mood is neutral. It was nice to be around people. Still a little bothered that I don't know anyone in the a.m. class there used to be a different set of folks. It's rough getting up that early but I gotta make it happen. I believe the blend of just "regular" CF workouts and the occasional Oly session with Gary and my own skill work times at CFM will do just fine. Like Jay said "Have fun with it." And I will. It sucks when something you love to do feels like work. And we all know how we feel about sucks!
Nothing to bitch about today, like I said I'm neutral today.
Till tomorrow folks!!!


My hand is all ripped up from yeserday's WOD.  Yesterday was awesome
OHS 75#
Pull Ups
10 min on the clock: Rowm for meters for 7 minutes and then AMRAP Double Unders
125 double unders and GASPING FOR AIR!

I was not into my workout today, it sucks when your hand is ripped up and bloody and you can barely hold a bar.  I have a pull up workout on Thursday and I hope it is better by then- I am depressed again.

If I was not doing the individual programming, I would not have used 75# for the OHS yesterday, it would have taken too long.  Although I myself NEED the social aspect, I also like to fly under the radar.  Everybody would have been done with their WOD and STARING at me while I struggle to finish.  I don't really like people looking at me, that is why I can't do competitions.  I get to the point where I almost throw up- that's how anxious I am about people looking at me.  The thing I like most about working out by myself is that I am more comfortable taking risks, I don't always have the time to stay more than an hour but sometimes I do and that allows me to struggle with a heavier weight.  In the class setting I play it safe, I worry about not being able to finish with the heavier weight and not being able to change the weights because there is not enough time. I know that this ultimately holds me back from making progress.

Paleo- did you know that you can get fat by eating paleo?  At least I can.  For me it is not unlimited protein and fat and fruit. That mindset=Fatter ass and thighs for me.  I have to remember that for me, calories matter.  I wish it was different but experience has taught me over and over again that calories matter (for me).  It is not going to change, and I keep hoping that it does. In order to be successful I need to measure my portions and more importantly CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR!  I know how to eat, God knows I have been Struggling with my weight my entire life! My thoughts and my actions are my problem and that is harder than anything (in my opinion) to change because they have been with me my entire life.

Enough rambling

Monday, October 1, 2012

Amanda M...Day 251

Didnt sleep enough...went to bed at 11 and woke up at 5 to go running. I was dyyyying for a nap today at work.

SO proud of myself for getting out of bed this morning and doing my 3 miles. I dont want to overdo it but I think I'll run or walk every morning. I know that if I dont make a routine out of getting up at 5, it'll be harder for me to stick to it.

Food was good. Ate my chicken enchilada stew...mmmMM delish. I made sure that I didnt skimp on servings. I usually try to spread it out as far as I can and end up not having enough to make a good meal.

front leg elevated squats
db rows

10min amrap:
3 squat cleans 95#

Felt really strong with the squat cleans. I almost didnt RX it but I am glad I did. Its amazing how much better I feel after having enough to eat and keeping positive thoughts in my head.

Tomorrow is a new day!

The towel was almost thrown in...

Hello Everyone,

Well I dragged myself out of bed to go wod early this morning. It was tough, going in on only 4 hours of sleep. I gave it my all. Of course coach Tom was very incouraging and once I was done went home, showered, called out of work and went back to sleep.


10 minute amrap
3 squat cleans Rx 95#
100m run
Total in 10 Minutes: 15 Cleans and 5 runs
pushed hard on the last 4 or so cleans. My knees were screaming for mercy.

Yeah, I went to a group class. I don't think I'm programming for now. I don't think I'm quite built mentally to train by myself. As easy as it sounds to many people to do that, It's a lot more difficult than it sounds to do. For me I've always been the kind of gal that did things on her own. Even before CF I worked out on my own all the time. Never had a workout "buddy". And I was very successful in it. I lost my first 70# doing it. So I definitely gave it all I had. But because my head space now is a bit...(how can I say this) fucked up. I need to be around people and a certain kind of energy. It may sound hokey to many but it's something I've learned a couple times over. If I'm not in a group setting then I need at least a few people working with me and a coach. We don't even have to conversate. I hate talking and having a full out convo when its time to work. Just people working together getting shit done in the gym is good enough for me. I'm kind of at a crossroads again where I need to refocus my energy into other things or (once again) try to find a balance. Though I love CF, I had to back out on a couple of challenge comp opportunities. For some reason were all happening in the month of October. I really want to focus on my Oly training and do well at Trinity in November and any other Oly comps I may have. I'm having fun with it but I'm also taking it very seriously. I would like to do well as I progress.  So that means I have to say no to a  thing or two. But rest assured I will be there cheering on the other competitors and volunteering as well.

Amanda M...Day 248, 249 & 250

The weather is getting colder...this yearlong assessment is coming quickly to an end. Only about 100 days left...anyone else kind of freaking out about it? I feel like I'm worse now than when I started lol

Weekend was nice and relaxing, didnt do much.

Decided not to order from cross cuisine. Not the meal plans, anyways. Maybe I'll order her plantain lasagna in a party platter size just to have stuff in the freezer as back up. That shit is delicious. It's really not that difficult to cook for the week. Especially when you have a crockpot. I made Chicken enchilada stew for the week, with cauliflower rice. Pretty damn excited for lunch. I miss being excited about food lol how much of a fat-ass comment is that?