Tuesday, April 3, 2012

"Don't give up...don't ever give up!" Jimmy V

Long post coming, but need to put it out there in hopes it will make me feel better.  Well obviously I've falling off the map and been flying under the radar recently.  Things didn't turn out exactly as I planned...not even close to be honest.  Coming down the stretch for the CF games I tried my best to mentally block the pain I was in...I thought and hoped it was working but I was wrong.  Instead of having better WOD times, getting stronger and getting more reps the opposite happened.  I was digressing as my training moved forward, pain or no pain.  I was mentally struggling with how I scored in the games WODs.  It was literally tearing me up but I just kept pushing forward to the next week.  When I realized how terribly I performed in 12.4 is when it finally hit me.  I was exhausted 50 wall balls in, every time I caught that 20lb medicine ball pain was shooting down both my wrists and into my elbows, I couldn't shut it out anymore.  I finally accepted the fact that I had some real issues and that my whole CrossFit season was about to end.  I couldn't even hold a 45lb barbell in practice on the thrusters for 12.5...it was just over.  The Thursday night of the YLA meeting with Dr. Keith was eye opening.  He showed me some things to try of the next couple weeks to help my wrists recuperate.  I called him 5 days later and said it's not getting better, they actually hurt worse.  Immediately the next day I was in his office in Hamden.  Keith spent 2 hours working on me, treating me, stretching me, treating me again and then icing me.  Then we agreed I'd try the recuperation process all over again.  5 days later (Sunday) I picked up my 18 month old nephew up like 10 times and my wrists were so bad I didn't know what to do anymore...they were still getting worse.  I called Keith yesterday and told him the story and he pretty much said that's it you need cortisone shoots and you need them immediately or this is going to be real bad.  So today I meet with Keith's colleague.  The treatment was not pleasant but I did what I had to do.  Now only time will tell but they certainly feel a 1000 times better right now then they did 12 hours ago.  I only have myself to blame for all this and I accept full responsibility.  I learned alot from this experience, good or bad!

Ok onto the cleanse.  I did amazing into the evening of the 3rd night.  But on day 4 I was so hungry, and tired, and pissy and blah blah blah I had to eat.  FAIL!  Once I ate it was totally over.  I thought I'd be fine but as soon as I got hungry again I ate again and then the wheels came off.  Then on Sunday I completely ruined the whole thing because my friend called me whom I hadn't seen in a really long time and we when out to lunch and it was over.  I was just mentally drained, physically drained and mentally weak and I pretty much just gave up...very unlike me.  I let depression sneak in the back door and it sucked the life out of me!  What a shame!

So where does NITRO go from here?  I'm going to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back to work.  I can't wait to smell the rubber at CFM.  Obviously I won't be going balls out right away in the WODs, I have to safeguard myself from these wrist problems but once I get the green light from Coach and Dr. Keith you can bet your butt I am going to come back and work harder then I have in the past, improve on my technique and just kill every WOD!!!

Do not let depression in because it will suck the life out of you!!!


  1. NITRO: Thank you so much for that post! If I had listened to my body back in June, I probably would not herniated 3 discs in my back. I somehow think that if I go to CFM 4 days instead of 5 I will lose all my strength. I constantly battle with that voice that tells me I HAVE to push through no matter what. It is such a fine line for me- is it mental pain or physical pain? I hear you about the depression, it can BEAT you down. There is no other option than to keep fighting!

  2. Thanks Maria! My new mantra is going to be "Fight the good fight!"

  3. Awesome post, so good to hear from you Nitro!

    Its both good and bad that Crossfit is as addicting as it is! We just all have to make sure our health, and not our pride, is put first. That is something I struggle with when I get little injuries or when my body is telling me to take a damn break.

    Fight on Happy Feet! We are always here for you if you need to vent and let it all out. It always helps :-)

  4. hey there he is!! the thing is guys your supposed to be blogging during this shit not when its over!!! we cant help if we dont know! i knew you were having some issues NItro but :( !! Great post and chin up-- we are all feeling a little bit blah- its that two 1/22 month thing.. but youll be back and better than ever!!
    missed you!!!