Maria 10/5/12

So I have not been to the gym since Tuesday.  I have been dealing with terrible insomnia all week where I wake up at exactly 3am every night and can't get back to sleep until- you guessed it-it is time to wake up.  It is totally hormonal and I go through this almost every month right before the monthly visit. Anyway, it interferes with workout schedule because on Wed, Thurs and Fri my only option to workout is 5:30am and I just could not get up for it.  Tonight at like 7:30p I got on my treadmill and did the running WOD I was supposed to do on Wednesday- it felt good to sweat again.  I need to workout for my mental health, I get so bitchy after a couple of days with no exercise!  Especially since in my new job I sit in a chair for 8 hours.  When I worked in the hospital I was constantly moving, and taking the stairs- it was a fast paced job.

Food has been good but struggling with portions as usual so not getting the results.  I am not going to make excuses; I hate excuses.

Maria

My hand is all ripped up from yeserday's WOD.  Yesterday was awesome
21/15/9
OHS 75#
Pull Ups
16:25
THEN
10 min on the clock: Rowm for meters for 7 minutes and then AMRAP Double Unders
125 double unders and GASPING FOR AIR!

I was not into my workout today, it sucks when your hand is ripped up and bloody and you can barely hold a bar.  I have a pull up workout on Thursday and I hope it is better by then- I am depressed again.

If I was not doing the individual programming, I would not have used 75# for the OHS yesterday, it would have taken too long.  Although I myself NEED the social aspect, I also like to fly under the radar.  Everybody would have been done with their WOD and STARING at me while I struggle to finish.  I don't really like people looking at me, that is why I can't do competitions.  I get to the point where I almost throw up- that's how anxious I am about people looking at me.  The thing I like most about working out by myself is that I am more comfortable taking risks, I don't always have the time to stay more than an hour but sometimes I do and that allows me to struggle with a heavier weight.  In the class setting I play it safe, I worry about not being able to finish with the heavier weight and not being able to change the weights because there is not enough time. I know that this ultimately holds me back from making progress.

Paleo- did you know that you can get fat by eating paleo?  At least I can.  For me it is not unlimited protein and fat and fruit. That mindset=Fatter ass and thighs for me.  I have to remember that for me, calories matter.  I wish it was different but experience has taught me over and over again that calories matter (for me).  It is not going to change, and I keep hoping that it does. In order to be successful I need to measure my portions and more importantly CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR!  I know how to eat, God knows I have been Struggling with my weight my entire life! My thoughts and my actions are my problem and that is harder than anything (in my opinion) to change because they have been with me my entire life.

Enough rambling

Maria- Dad's B-day

Yeah so my mom is the greatest cook EVER- both of my parents are off the boat Italian, so I knew it was going to be rough tonight when I had to go celebrate my dad's birthday.  I was right, she made homemade gnocchi from scratch, and I LOVE MY MOTHER'S GNOCCHI!!!  Along with her homemade meatballs and sauce and other special dishes that she usually does not make.  I stayed outside on the deck reading because I didn't trust myself to sit there at the table and NOT eat it.  I waited until the second course (grilled chicken and steak) was served.  Then I left the table again after singing happy b-day so that I wouldn't be tempted by the Carvel Cake or the BIG ASS chocolate chip cookies from Costco along with a dozen assorted doughnuts from Dunk Donuts.  I ate grapes and walnuts.  Even though I said I was staying away from nuts and fruit, I felt like I would fall off the wagon if I didn't.  This sounds horrible, and I know it is not right to avoid social situations, but I really did not want to go there tonight.  I feel like putting myself in a situation like that makes it harder than it has to be.  At the same time, I don't want to be a hermit and isolate myself from the world.

Maria- Temptation

Maurer- Come to 5:30am, it is a pain in the balls to get up that early (I hate it) but once you are there I KNOW you will love it!  Then you can go home after work.  When I first started there was a group of us that worked out together and held each other accountable, it really helped me to get to the gym and stay on track with my nutrition, but then people disappeared or worked out at different times, and the gym just got huge!  It is hard to stay motivated.

I was thinking today about how what tempts me or is a trigger for me is not an issue for someone else, and vice versa.  Why is that I can be so strong in certain things yet so weak in others?  Some people can eat a few nuts or a little almond butter and be satisfied, but I don't stop until the jar is empty.  Maybe someone can't give up their beloved wine- I could care less about alcohol.  It really is fascinating.

Today was an airdyne day, I was at the gym over an hour:
50/50/50 (calories)
40/40/40
30/30/30
20/20/20/
10/10/10

1:3 ratio work:rest so if it took me 3 min to get 50 cal I had to rest for 9 minutes...

worked on strict chin ups, butterfly pullups, and handstand holds in my warm up. 

Maria- good day at the gym...

Today was straight lifting for me:

handstand walking on blue mats x 3 sets- can't walk on my hands yet, but I actually kicked up to a handstand on the blue mats; no wall!!!
CTB pull up work x 3 sets x 3 reps - I DID IT!!!!  Did not string 3 together but got my chest to the bar one at a time

A.  RDL, 12.10.8.6.4., 32X1, rest 2 minutes 65/70/75/80/85- this was actually too light for me, could have gone heavier
B.  Split Jerk, 2.2.2.1.1.1, rest 3 minutes 75.80.85.95.95.100- I don't think I have ever split jerked 100 lb before! 
C.1  super slider leg curl, 3 x 12, rest 60 seconds
C.2  powell raise, 3 x 12, rest 60 seconds- 12 # every set, these are pretty tough!

Calculating calories so that I can report them to Dr. Jaime.

Before pics were devastating, even though I see myself in the mirror every day, looking at a picture is very different.  Trying not to hate myself or say really nasty things to myself...

Made Paleo zucchini pancakes for b-fast today so good, I have to make sure to try new hings every once in a while to prevent boredom!  Boredom is one cause of me falling off the wagon.

Maria- I have issues!

SO I go to the gym today, feeling pretty good, that is until the WOD started which for me was:
20 min AMRAP
20 squat cleans 75"
10 pull ups
20 cal on Airdyne

Looking at this I thought I would kill this and be able to move quickly through it.  I don't know what the f was wrong with me today, but my legs didn't want to move, and neither did my arms.  I only got 3 rounds in!  The only thing I could think of was that between Sat and Sun, I did 205 KB swings, and I ran yesterday (double workout) I don't know, but I hit the wall pretty f-in quick today.

So I immediately think I need to eat fruit, so POST WOD I went and bought and apple along with a bag of walnuts!  I go up to the cash register and give the walnuts to the cashier and said, "I am not buying these, I changed my mind."  So thank God they did not make it home.  I ate the apple, and 4 oz salmon, when I got home I had chicken with olive oil mayo then I had a banana with raw almond butter and some coconut water.  I think I have had enough.  I get nervous when my performance is shitty and automatically think I need more food which I know is not the case with me.  Anyway I am rambling now...

Maria Lurong 1 week down

Good day today, did WOD #3 12:36, the burpees just sucked, but I kept moving the whole time, all the KB swings were unbroken.  Went for a 36 min run afterward 1 min @90% 1 min @50%.  Didn't measure my dinner- chicken breast, black olives, cabbage, olive oil mato.  Ate the last of the nuts that were in the house and I am committing right here that there will be NO MORE NUTS in this house to temt me.  As long as I stay from nuts and fruit I will be successful and this will be so much easier!

Maria- Lurong day 6

Good day today, no nuts and no fruit.  Big accomplishments for me.  Sometimes I start feeling sorry for myself when I cut out the nuts and the fruit, but the reality is they hold me back.  Nuts especially give me stomach pains, Jay has told me numerous times that there is no reason I should be having nuts and to cut them out, yet I keep returning back to them just like a woman returning to an abusinve relationship; it is no different.  WOD today:

18 min AMRAP
50m shuttle run x2
35 KB swings 35#
10 35# KB Push Press R arm
10 35# KB Push Press L arm

I was only able to do 3 rounds because the 35# single arm push presses SUCKED- I mean I was only able to do 1 or 2 at a time by the third round.

Kind of feeling pissed at myself, Jay sent me my WODS for the next couple of weeks and he wants me to do handstand walk twice a week in my warm ups and instead of being psyched for the challenge and thinking, "COOL!!!!" my immediate reaction was "I can't do those"  and I sent that message to Jay.  No wonder my progress is slow, I am my own worst enemy.

I am going to attempt handstand walks next week no matter how scared I am

Maria- Lurong Day 3

Good day today although I overslept and missed my workout.  My arms are sore as hell, so I could use the rest day.  I will make up today's WOD at some point.  It really helped for me to prepare my dinner this morning and have it ready in the fridge so that I could eat it as soon as I got home.   That helped me to avoid picking on food and standing while eating!  The other thing that helped me was to be in contact with other people int he challenge today- makes a big difference for me.  Stress level has been low, and still going to bed too late!  I am going to work on getting more sleep over the next 9 weeks.

Maria- Lurong Day 2

Went to Trader Joe's today and bought the "Fancy Raw Mixed Nuts" that I love- AGAIN.  Again sabotaging myself and ignoring the healthy voice in my head that says, "you know you can't handle this!"  Maybe I will give them away???? 

Again did not measure dinner time meal, and stood up while eating.  The rest of the day was great and then I blew it by NOT weighing my dinner and NOT sitting down to eat a sane meal.  I deserve better than that.


Snatch WOD today 75 snatches @55# 8:28- Snatches felt good, it was the breathing that slowed me down.

then

A.  Power Clean, 5.5.3.3, rest 2 minutes 95.95.100.110 (NOT pretty and NOT TnG)

B.  Axle push press, 5.5.5.5.5, rest 90 seconds 65.70.70.70.75
C.  good mornings, 3 x 8, rest 60 seconds 53.58.65
D.  Side lying powell raise, 3 x 12/side, 50X1, rest 60 seconds bt. arms 12.12.12- tough

Maria- Giving up??? NO WAY!

Hi Amanda- Boy did I feel guilty when I saw you over the weekend!  The truth is, I kind of gave up on myself.  Regarding blogging, I think that I talked myself out of it because no one is reading it but honestly, the blogging helps me whether or not anybody is reading it.  It forces me to take a look at what I am doing and if I am NOT doing what I committed to do  then WHY NOT? 

I met with Dr. Jaime last week and we talked about a lot of stuff.  I really have to sit down and evaluate why I have the need to friggin sabotage myself.  At least I have this challenge to kick me into gear, but I can't live my life waiting for the next challenge!  I have to do it for me, not because there is some kind of competition.  I just don't know how to get to that point.  Enough rambling..

Day 1 went well, but I didn't really have enough structure around my meals (like I prefer) I was busy so there was a lot of picking here and there vs sitting down and eating.  Not good for me.  Did you do your measurements yet???

Maria Sugar detox Day 13

Slept pretty well last night, but I need to get to bed earlier!!!  I will have to go back to the 5:30am class soon and that means getting up EARLY.

WOD

21 DL @ 155

21 push press @ 65#

800m on aD
15 DL @ 155

15 push press @ 65#
800m on AD
9 DL @ 155

9 push press @ 65#

800m on AD

 

14:10- definitely sweating like a Mo Fo on this one!  Weights were perfect, heavy but manageable.  My shoulders are already sore! 

9 am Post WOD: 3 oz tilapia

10am- 1 Cup egg whites, spinach, 3 oz avocado

2pm- 4 oz turkey leg, big salad with lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, home made salsa and lemon juice

7pm- 3 small chicken drumsticks, baked sole, green salad with egg and ham on it, a little EVOO

 

Bigger dinner than usual, we spent the day at the beach and stopped at a restaurant for dinner but I kept it clean!  When I got home my first thought was that I wanted some nuts.  I picked up the bag of macadamia nuts and said to myself "HAVE TEA INSTEAD!!!" I put the bag away and made herbal tea.  Then I got out of the kitchen ASAP and did not go back.  I also focused on the kids and getting them ready for bed!

 

Obviously I was not hungry for more food, yet I was going to eat those nuts as I have done so many times before.  I think I do it to help me relax, or out of habit, or maybe just because they are delicious.  The point is I wasn't hungry.  I am just glad I didn't eat them.

Maria Sugar DT day 12

Hi Amanda, hope you are doing okay- I was so bummed to miss the mtg Monday night, I really needed to be there.  WOD today:

A.  OHS, 8.6.4, rest 2 minutes: 65.75.85
B.  Hang Squat Clean, 3.3.3, rest 90 seconds:85.100.105

+
1K row
25 double unders
750m row
50 double unders
500m row

75 double unders
250m row

100 double unders

19:09

Happy with my weights in the OHS and hang squat clean. Anything from the hang position is hard for me, I think because of my back but I felt strong today.

I have been going a little too crazy with the olive oil mayo the past couple of days, I mean like on the verge of binging, so I need to NOT have that right now.  I can tell I have been eating too much fat and not enough carbs- I just feel out of balance and FAT.  No sugar though, so that's good.  My co worker was chewing a piece of gum yesterday and  I really wanted a piece but I resisted! 

Maria Sugar DT Day 7

Didn't sleep enough AGAIN. Went too bed too late and had to get up early.  I considered staying in bed and blowing off the WOD, but I knew it would eat me up inside all day!

WOD Thursday 8/16

A.  Power Clean - 3.2.1.3.2.1, rest 4 minutes: 105/110/115/110/115/120

B.  Hang Power Clean - in no more than 3 sets take up to heavy triple: 95/100/110

C.  Seated DB shoulder press, 3 x 8/side, 51X1, rest 2 minutes: 10/15/20

Underestimated myself on the shoulder press. 10 was WAYYYY too light, I probably should have used 20# for all three sets

9am- 3 eggs, 2 C frozen spinach, 1/2 haas avocado
12:50pm- HUNGRY- 4 oz ground turkey breast, 1 C green pepper, onion, mushroom, squash, 1 C cauliflower fried rice, 1 TBSP EVOO
6pm- STARVING, 1 C cauliflower fried rice, 2 oz ground turkey, 2 TBSP olive oil mayo
7:30pm- 2 grilled chicken thighs, 1 C cooked cabbage and onions

Finally feeling like myself after the cruise fiasco (sp?). I feel deflated!  Wow, 11 days before feeling back to my old self.  That is a big price to pay for one week of "what the hell."  Anywhoo, I am feeling great on this sugar DT thing, eating lots of healthy fat, and I swear that is what helps curb the cravings.  I feel totally satisfied right now, in the past I would be fighting the temptation of the night time munchies!

Maria- Sugar DT Day 6

So far today: went to bed around midnight last night and woke up around 6:30am because of that crazy thunderstorm and torrential rain.  

7:40am: 

1 egg 

1 tsp coconut oil

WOD

3 circles of hell

50/50/50

40/40/40

30/30/30

20/20/20

10/10/10

calories on AD/Rower/Ski erg

48:15

Maurer, if you want to sweat and get drenched, DO THIS WORKOUT!  There was a puddle at the ski erg big enough that you could see a reflection!

Post WOD around 10am 

2 oz chicken breast 

2 oz calamari 

1/4C sweet potato

1:15pm 

4 oz salmon, 

1/2 TBSP Olive Oil Mayo

1 C Broccoli

2C Green Pepper, Mushroom, Spinach, Yellow squash

6:30pm
Cauliflower fried rice
ground turkey
Macadamia nuts 

Maria Sugar DT Day 5

Slept pretty well last night, woke up once but fell back asleep.  Stress level low, since I have been on vacation since 7/18.

8:30- 3 oz calamari, 1 C cabbage, onion, crushed tomato, 1 tsp olive oil mayo

WOD

A.  DL - 1 RM- 230# PR!
B.  50 HSPU w/ harness- OMG this took me almost 20 minutes

C.  50 TGU @ 35#.. NOT FOR TIME- Really?  Cause I really wanted to time it.  Actually I did time it and it took me almost 25 minutes and I used a 24# KB.  My thumb is a now a nice shade of purple after smashing the KB down on it today.  Hurts!

I was at the gym for almost 2 hours today, between warm up- so paranoid about my back- the WOD, and stretching afterward.  It's a good thing I didn't have to work today!  I have not done a heavy DL since my back injury last year, I just couldn't.  So that PR today was SWEET, especially after my disappointment yesterday.  Strengthening my back was one of my goals with this programming, so I am happy.

10am- 1/4C sweet potato, 3 oz chicken breast

2pm- turkey off the bied -unmeasured, olive oil mayo, spaghetti squash

6pm- turkey again, cucumber, tomato, olive oil mayo

Felt a little light headed again today.  I have gone through DT before, and I don't remember feeling like that.  It only happens when I pick up a heavy weight.  I hope it goes away! 

Maria Sugar DT Day 4

Slept better last night, 10pm- 6:45am, woke up once around 3am and fell back asleep.  WOD today:

A.  Back squat - 1 RM- 175
B.  Front Squat - 2 RM- 135
C.  OHS -  3 RM-90

Totally disappointed in myself today.  My previous 1 RM on 5/17 was 185.  I got 175, and then tried 190 and failed.  Thank God I had a good spotter!  I felt weird today, really dizzy and light headed, like my blood pressure was too low or something.  I picked up the bar to do my FS and I got really dizzy and had to drop the bar it was so strange.  Jay reminded me that the emphasis of my programming is to improve on body weight stuff, gymnastics and to get faster- NOT strength. Tomorrow is a chipper, I am nervous about it already....

Sugar DT going well:
8:30am- 6 oz can of tuna, 1 cucumber, 1 TBSP olive oil mayo- Homemade
12:30pm- 6 oz chicken breast, 1 C cooked broccoli, 1 TBSP olive oil mayo, salad with lettuce, cucumber, tomato, 2 TBSP balsamic vinegar, 1 sheet sushi nori (toasted seaweed vegetable)
4:10p- 20 small olives, 6 macadamia nuts
6pm- 3 oz steamed calamari, 1 C cooked cabbage, onion, crushed tomato
7p-8p- taught a weight class
8:30p- 3 oz turkey (off the bird), 1 TBSP olive oil mayo

Maria Sugar DT Day 3

I went camping Sat night and did not have access to a computer.  There were tons of camping temptations: Smores, cookies, chips, watermelon, cheese, crackers, all that shit that I love, but I didn't have anything.  Food Today:
8am: turkey bacon and scrambled eggs.  I know I ate way more than I needed to- When there are all these temptations around I just eat more of the things I can to help me get through it.  Food still has a strong hold on me.
9:45-10:45- 1 hour recovery run- 4.6 miles
1pm- chicken drumstick and chicken thigh, broccoli, green salad with olive oil and vinegar
6:30pm- steak with home made olive oil mayo, 1 slice corned beef.

Didn't measure portions at the campsite, will resume tomorrow.

Not sleeping at all, Uncomfortable in a tent on an air mattress that deflated, then my kids were up at like 5am.  I have been reading more and more about how lack of sleep can halt all progress no matter how clean you are eating and how hard you are training.  This week I am going to focus on going to bed earlier.

Maria Sugar DT day1

I figured what the hell, might as well start today with the detox thing- No fruit fresh or dry, nothing with artificial sweeteners including sugarless gum and breath mints (I love gum and mints).  Sooooo I feel so out of touch with everyone, and I have not had any sense of accountability.  I was doing so well with the blogging!  I feel so disconnected!  Today, I recommit to the YLA- We were all so enthusiastic in the beginning and I want that feeling back.  So far so good today.  I taught a kickboxing class this morning and then went to CFM for this WOD:

A.  Thruster, 5.5.5.5, rest 90 seconds: 70.75.80.85- TOUGH

B.1  Wide grip BB bent over row, 4 x 5-7, 31X1, rest 1 minute: 85/6.85/7.85/7.85/7

B.2  1 1/4 CG Bench, 4 x 6, rest 1 minute: 85/6.85/6.90/4.90/4
+
wearing a 20# vest
60 sec. on AD AFAP
rest/walk for 3 minutes x 5: Calories: 19/21/23/20/24

 Food today:
B: 4 oz tilapia, 1 cucumber, 1 TBSP EVOO
S: (after kickboxing) 1 1/2 oz sweet potato, 2 oz tilapia
L: 3 oz chicken thigh, onion, pepper, spaghetti squash, crushed tomato sauteed in 1 TBSP coconut oil, salad with lettuce, tomato, cuc, artichoke hearts, 1 tsp EVOO, bals vinegar
S: 3 oz chicken breast
D: 3 oz chicken breast, cabbage,onion, spaghetti squash, crushed tomato sauteed in 1 TBSP coconut oil, raw broccoli with home made paleo ranch dressing (YUMMMMM)

Getting stronger, weights have increased since starting the programming, I still feel as if I am so slow.  Nutrition is so critical, it is truly the foundation of everything! That and sleep.  I have not had a good night's sleep in a LONG time.  I have been up with my kids or I am too hot, or I am hormonal, you name it.  I just want to sleep through the night! Oh and try going on a cruise for a week and eating whatever and then going to CFM.  Not fun.  This week was a struggle in the gym, plus I taught 5 classes this week.  Today is the first day that I am not totally sore from head to toe!  Looking forward to seeing everyone at the meeting!

Maria- I'M BAAAAAACK!

Got back this morning from the cruise- it was AMAZING.  For one week, I didn't worry about what I ate.  I ate everything I wanted, and loved it!!!!  I honestly can't remember the last time I did that.  And you know what?  It was pretty damn liberating.  AND I am not going to worry about it, say mean things to myself or obsess about the damage I did.  For once, I just want to be a NORMAL person, and just move on.  I am honestly tired of obsessing about how I look all the time, and my performance at the gym. It is like a full time job going on in my head. That being said, I did not miss a workout while on vacation.  I definitely got looked at funny during my WODS- Jay programmed a couple of doosies.  But of course I loved the WODS.  I even practiced HSPU off of the benches they had in the gym.  Looking forward to getting back into my routine!