My hand is all ripped up from yeserday's WOD. Yesterday was awesome
21/15/9
OHS 75#
Pull Ups
16:25
THEN
10 min on the clock: Rowm for meters for 7 minutes and then AMRAP Double Unders
125 double unders and GASPING FOR AIR!
I was not into my workout today, it sucks when your hand is ripped up and bloody and you can barely hold a bar. I have a pull up workout on Thursday and I hope it is better by then- I am depressed again.
If I was not doing the individual programming, I would not have used 75# for the OHS yesterday, it would have taken too long. Although I myself NEED the social aspect, I also like to fly under the radar. Everybody would have been done with their WOD and STARING at me while I struggle to finish. I don't really like people looking at me, that is why I can't do competitions. I get to the point where I almost throw up- that's how anxious I am about people looking at me. The thing I like most about working out by myself is that I am more comfortable taking risks, I don't always have the time to stay more than an hour but sometimes I do and that allows me to struggle with a heavier weight. In the class setting I play it safe, I worry about not being able to finish with the heavier weight and not being able to change the weights because there is not enough time. I know that this ultimately holds me back from making progress.
Paleo- did you know that you can get fat by eating paleo? At least I can. For me it is not unlimited protein and fat and fruit. That mindset=Fatter ass and thighs for me. I have to remember that for me, calories matter. I wish it was different but experience has taught me over and over again that calories matter (for me). It is not going to change, and I keep hoping that it does. In order to be successful I need to measure my portions and more importantly CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR! I know how to eat, God knows I have been Struggling with my weight my entire life! My thoughts and my actions are my problem and that is harder than anything (in my opinion) to change because they have been with me my entire life.
Enough rambling
It's funny because we all like to fly under the radar BUT we like to be around people just for class? Hella weird right?
ReplyDeleteThe next thing is when you're in a group wod stop worrying about the others and finishing last. Who cares...you're there, you're doing it! I mean think about it. I know for a fact if its a running wod guess what my fat ass is going to carry over into the next class time! Bible!! And that's ok, I gotta check that ego and just deal. I hate running, my knees hurt when I run, my ass and thighs jiggle violently when I run! So no I am not made for running. But I do it if the Wod ask me to do so. And I do my best not to care "what i think everyone else is thinking." Its not easy but you have to try.
I'm in the same boat when it comes to paleo. I have to watch my calorie intake as well. I don't count anymore which is possibly why I'm not really loosing as much as i want. I HATE counting and being crazy with caloric tracking. The first mistake was when I started CF was "wow I'm SO hungry all the time so I'm going to eat like an athlete". Pssshhh yeah ok! FAIL!! Doesn't work for me.
You know what works best for you.
But I have to say Maria. You're training like an athlete then you need to overcome that fear and compete like an athlete! ;-)
I am the same way about worrying that I'll take too long or that people are watching me. That's why I stand in the back corner.
ReplyDeleteDont let the depression get you down. Keep on fighting. We all go through rough patches, you just have to push through!