Silence after the Storm...

What can I say that hasn't been said before...

It's a mess. Bridgeport as a city is totally down. No power and its a mess. I don't expect power for at least a week or more. This experience is quite humbling. I never lived beyond my means. But this gets you down to brass tax with no electricity. It's only been a couple of days and it's challenging to say the least. We didn't have a lot of food in the fridge so that's a bonus. But once we get done with what we have that's it. We will have to get creative and get food day to day and cook it the same day.

I'm doing a lot of sketching, thinking and knitting. I don't particularly care for the thinking part but that's what happens when you don't have that white noise anymore, well at least for the time being.

I'm just happy everyone is safe right now. I'm still scared of the traffic situation with no lights. People tend to forget (or not care) that there are rules to follow even though you don't have a traffic lights.
On top of that we need to get our asses back home before dark. Yeah it sounds crazy but I will be the first to admit that should this blackout last too long it only makes the natives restless and bad things happen. Yes I was born and raised in Bridgeport and have lived through the worst period of Bpt from the mid 80's well into the early 90's. But I still no better to get my fat ass and family back home, lock the doors and keep your head on a swivel.
The mayor knew what he was doing when he called in the national guard. It's no fucking joke in the port if given the proper set up i.e. a blackout.

Anyway, with all of this thinking I've decided I give programming one more try. I admit that I haven't been giving it 100%. It had nothing to do with Jay. He is a programming genius to me. It has all to do with me, myself and I. Nothing more. I have to get my priorities straight if I plan to do this right! So with this final try I will give 100% and be what I KNOW I should be. Nothing more nothing less.

Yadi

Amanda M..Da7 276, 277, 278 and 279

Fri-Today (Monday)

Took the weekend off to celebrate Halloween. People LOVED my costume...probably one of my best yet. I drank alot and ate alot. Fuck it!

Diet has been out the window. Been using Sandy as an excuse...not a very good one but hey, shit happens.

My house is in the middle of it all. Not sure what I will be coming back to in a few days so I'm not too excited about it.

Will update more tomorrow....if we have power!

Amanda M...Day 275

What a day. Work was busy and then I came home to find a wig for my costume that looked NOTHING like the picture and totally threw my idea of being Paula Deen right ou the window. I was so excited to talk about butter in a drunken stupor all of Saturday night. Thanks alot ebay! You asshole!

So after work, I was in a frenzy. I went to goodwill, the halloween super store, savers, Walmart in west haven, walmart in Milford and Joann Fabrics. Naturally, my new costume idea didn't come to me until Walmart in West Haven...which only had the brown sweatshirt that I needed and not the pants. The Walmart in Milford had the pants I needed but not the sweatshirt! Go fuckin figure!!

So yeah, yesterdays workout was AMRAP Halloween shopping. I was actually quite miserable throughout most of it...so it was like a crossfit workout anyways haha

What idea did I come up with you ask??



Yup...I'm dressing up as a bear and walking around with pieces of toilet paper stuck to my ass. Should be a good time. AND! when the bar bathrooms run out of toilet paper like they always do, I'll be the most popular girl in the room. I see free drinks in my future....

Amanda M...Day 274

Another 8 hours of sleep. Felt great all day!

Food: Clean, no more pie :-( I did, however, eat a paleo cake in a mug. It had honey in it...so not Lurong approved. How 1 tbsp of honey is a cheat is kind of ridiculous, but whatever!

WOD:
20 minutes of hell
20 thrusters @ 75#--really REALLY struggled with these. I need to stop letting my ego get in the way of stripping weight off the bar. I should have stuck with 65 or something
20 pull ups--did jumping pullups. When it's shorter reps, I usually do negatives and I'll feel it the next day. But for 20, I just knocked them out...doesnt feel affective though.
200m row--did this instead of air dyne, instead of DUs. I can do DUs but not enough for me to get winded from it. I always trip up right before it starts getting intense.

The workout was rough. It's amazing how you can completely murder a workout one day...and then get annihilated by one the next. I wanted to cry...performance was shit. But, I slept it off. Today is a new day...

Also thinking of getting programmed by Jay. I mean, full blown programming. Not just a few running workouts in the am to supplement me doing classes at night. I need him to turn me into the athlete I know that is hiding inside me somewhere because its obvious that I'm not bringing it out on my own.

Amanda M...Day 273

Been getting to bed by 10 the latest and waking up for 6:30...8 hours of sleep feels FANTASTIC. Plus, I am fighting off a cold or something so the extra sleep is helping. My boyfriend stayed the weekend and he had a pretty awful cold. So far, all I have is a nasty cough so I think I made it *knock on wood* I'll take a cough over a runny/stuffy nose any day.

Food: Clean all day...then finished off the pie I bought this weekend. I love baked goods. I should have never bought the damn thing! I knew I was going to annihilate it myself.

WOD:
5 sets of a heavy single/PR hang power clean
CG bench press
Snatch Grip RDL
30 sec AD sprint

My PR for the HPC was 155lbs and the last time I tried it, it went up easy so I knew I was going to PR last night...I just didnt know it would be by 15lbs! I was going to shoot for 160 and be satisfied if I got it but it was a big class and there were no 2.5lbs anywhere in sight. So I went with 165...missed the first, but got it the second time. This is when Jay came over...told me it went up too easy and to put 5 more lbs on. You don't say no to Jay...it just doesnt happen! So I borrowed someone's 2.5lbs and tried it...failed. It didnt help that Jay was crouched on the ground with his camera, ready to take a picture. I had stage fright lol I went again...failed. Jay gave me a few words of wisdom. Failed. He said what he had to say and then walked away--I think he thought I had enough. Fuck that, I was going to get it. Once he walked away, the pressure was off. I was on my own. Bar went up and I cleaned it with ease....just to turn around and see Jay, all the coaches, and half of the class watching me do it haha dammit! I dont like an audience. But it fuckin happened! And I was so excited.

It was a great day...a much needed moment of glory.

Yadi name dropped me with her oly coach Gary Valentine and got me the hook up!! I will be workin out with them both next Tuesday. Maybe I can PR again! So excited :-) Jay told me I could easily get 200lbs...let's see if I can prove him right by the end of the year.

Amanda M...Day 272

Didnt sleep long enough. But thats normal these days

Food: I had some chocolate and some pie. Screw it. I am trying to stay positive about this lurong thing but seriously...how do they expect us normal folk to stay motivated when they throw these retardedly ridiculous workouts at us. Even the scaled versions are nearly impossible. Can we please get the fuck away from body weight movements--pullups, dips, etc? And just do at least ONE wod that has heavy lifting? So unfair...

WOD: Skipped the gym. It was just too nice out so I went for a run instead. I did 4.1 miles...ran and walked. It was nice and relaxing.

Hang power cleans tomorrow. Kinda excited...I need a workout that I know I will do well with. I need an uplift right now.

The Experience...10/21 & 10/22

So the weekend...yeah...ummm where do I start. It was intense. At first thought I remember Jay using his Jedi mind trick and convincing us to do the Garage Games.
He said, "just have fun, do it for fun" he says.
I say, "ok" just knodding my head like the goof that I am.
I can't say no to the man! Damn you!!!

Anyway, I knew what to expect in terms of the levels of badassery that was going to be there. I volunteered last year so I knew this was going to be something completely different when you're actually in it.

Saturday was a complete bust for me. Wod one was the overhead squat which I could have done better with. I can squat 95# but I got only as far as 75#. The trick with me is I have to gradually build meaning I had to do the 85# before the big jump to 95#. But because we couldn't back track without doing the burpee penalty I just said screw it. I'll will try it the 95# straight out. So that was a bit of a fail for me. Wod #2 was a two mile run. I was already not feeling it but I knew it had to be done and I was determined to get it done no matter if it took me beyond the 20 minute cap. 3-2-1 GO! I went, I was running, good pace, then all of a sudden BAM!...my heal spur made its appearance and stabbed me right in my heal. I stopped and dropped right on the ground. I hobbled over to where the judges were standing and yeah I was crying like a baby, not because I was in pain but because I failed my team, my foot failed me and so far my ego was in the shits. Here are the Garage Games, athletes are duking it out and giving it all they had and here I am the fat chick who isn't even sweating because my effort level so far has been a 5 out of 10!

Wod #3 Pure Pharma. I felt like I could redeem myself and my team with this one. Mostly lifts, Power Snatch, shoulder to over head, Cleans then box jumps and burpee plate jumps. The strategy was good. Kim would do most of the reps when it came to box jumps and burpees and I would take all the reps on the lifts. And that worked out and it worked out well. Day one down, and as I drove home I still wasn't happy with the day overall. I felt small, I definatley didn't feel like an athlete and I beat myself up mentally for the rest of the night. I kept telling myself, "why am I Crossfitting?" "I'm quitting CF, fuck it." "I'm no good, I can't keep up with these people, and why the fuck am I in this competition!" "Who do I think I am!" I actually thought why even do the 2nd day, I just might mess that up as well. But I couldn't do that to my team.
The crazy thing is. I'm not a competitive person, I'm really not. I don't brag or boast. If anything I sell myself short for almost everything in life. So what I was feeling was just complete failure on my end. I am my worst critique no matter what I do.

Sunday, I came in head hanging low. But as soon as I walked in I had a bunch of the CFM fam come up to me and told me that I could do it. So I knew I had to change gears mentally. I went outside, took a deep breath and decided I'm going to slay this shit and go to crazy town on it.
Wod #4 The Air Dyne. He should have called it Air Dyne Death. It was nasty. 16 total minutes for the whole team. 8 min for the girls and 8min for the guys. The ongoing strategy was balls out @ 100% for 30seconds. If there's one thing I remember in my fitness journey that started 4 years ago is. You can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds!! Kim and I started up and that's what we did. 30 seconds at a clip 100% effort. Thighs were on fire and completely out of breath. Thank goodness 8min were up. I murdered that shit! That's right then I hobbled away because my quads were contracted for the next 15minutes...oye vey that was painful!!!

Now the hardest part was waiting for at least 2 hours to get our last and final Wod in. Yup that Wod was Fran. Oh man...what nasty thing can I say about Fran that hasn't been said by others. I've only experienced Fran one other time early in my CF days but I was well aware of the mental and physical damage she can give someone. I knew I would be scaled for pullups but scaled for thrusters was 45#. 45#'s really?? I tried it out in the warm up area and the bar was flying. Ok...here's the moment of truth folks. Here is where you have a straight up conversation in your head with yourself and you say do you go easy OR do you challenge yourself and walk away like you broke somebodies back and felt great about it. Minutes before our heat was called I just said hey I'll do Rx weight which was only 65# and obviously scale the pullups. Here we go, show time.
The guys went first since they are faster and they can do legit pullups. They did awesome they were fighting hard but wow they pulled through. Now the moment of truth, I was amped ready to go. Can I do it, will I fail. No time to think about that right now. My mom, bro, CFM members were all behind me cheering me on. Fight or Flight...It's time to Fight!

I hate thrusters but I was crushing them. I did 18 in a row, my shoulders were smoked I threw the bar down took about 5 deep breaths picked it back up and did the final 3 to complete 21. I went to the bar to do jumping pullups. Not as easy as they look because they have to be fast and on top of that I didn't have enough plates so I had to jump extra hard to get my chin over that damn bar. Did my 21 and back to the bar to do 15 thrusters. Now everything changed. Suddenly I get into this different world. I know I'm tired and I know I can't quit. There is so much happening around me but it's kinda fading away, no I'm not going to pass out. This was some real shit happening. I can still hear people screaming my name, Katie to my right coaching me and telling to push, my brother just a few feet behind me yelling my name, my team mates are right in my face telling me to go, go, go!!! But everything I see and hear is almost muted. I pick up the bar and start my 15, they were broken maybe clusters of 3 to 4 but they felt good. They weren't sloppy, my squats were deep, my overhead was tall and powerful. I just felt like I was outta of air but somehow someway I was still going and pushing. Next thing I did my jumping pullups and finally my last nine thrusters. The clock was ticking down. I think I had less than 90sec on the clock I think. I said to myself I have to as least complete these thrusters. So I pushed out five, dropped the bar then 6, 7, and....8. Times up. I stumble over to the plates to sit. I cried a little for a few seconds. Then suddenly, I didn't see any faces but all I heard and felt were hugs, kisses and cheers from everyone around me. It was a fucking Rudy moment.
I did it. I may have not completely finished fran but I did it. I pushed hard and left everything on the floor and then some.

Now I'm content, redemption is sweet. No matter what anyone says, I had to prove to myself that I belong. I may not have been chisled with muscles and a super athlete but I can hang. I can do what I do best.
Now will I do that again next year??
Hell fucking NO!
No really, I don't know. It depends what path I'm on at that point. If I'm a better CF athlete maybe, maybe not.
Now I have to get back to my true love Oly Lifting.

Smooches
xxxoxoxoxoxo